Long Days, Short Years.

The saying is true. These days are long, so very long; but the years are short! I can hardly believe that my sweet baby is a year old and my big girl is almost three!

This year has been a bit crazy. Well, absolutely crazy.
To recap:
Ada was born at the end of July
at 2 weeks postpartum I started training to be a Birth Doula
at 4 weeks postpartum I started a new job teaching 2 days a week at a Mothers Day Out program the next town over
at 5 weeks postpartum we started suspecting that the limp Cora developed at 2 weeks postpartum was something more serious and she was later diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis.

Until almost December every time someone would ask how old Ada was I would respond 6 weeks old... because I felt like we were in survival mode 100% of the time. God is good, and I'm not complaining, that job was an answered prayer and it was a year of hard work in school but it's paying off now that I'm running my own business and I love it!

In February I finished my training as a Birth Doula and went to my Certification Workshop for a weekend (that weekend was a hoot - if it could go wrong it basically did!)

March through May I worked diligently on getting my business off the ground while still teaching two days a week. In May I had turned down 4 inquiries for doula clients because I couldn't be on call while teaching. I took a leap of faith, literally trusting God that this was His plan for us and said I would not be returning in the fall to teach.

In June I was really worried I'd made a big mistake by giving up my "day job" because I didn't have a single inquiry for doula services. God is good and he had a plan! I was contacted about training to be a Midwife Assistant at a local birth center. It's been a busy summer, I've learned more than I could ever imagine and as of today I have finished my training as a Midwife Assistant and I'm booked for doula clients through the New Year!

I really think the theme for the past 12 months is God is Good, God has a plan and trust God!!

I have really missed blogging. I think about it at least once a week but I just couldn't justify taking taking the time to sit down and write when so many things needed my attention. Life is still busy but I feel like we're coming out of survival mode and learning to live our new normal. Tonight I sat down on the couch and didn't know what to do with myself, I literally finished training as a MA this afternoon when I passed my skills check off for neonatal resuscitation and CPR so I don't have anything to study for the moment. So, blogging it is. I really hope I'm able to keep it up.

I'm glad to be back - how are you?!?

Branson, Vetrans Day Weekend

Last week my brother Joshua called (he's stationed in Missouri for school with the Marines) and he was trying to figure out how to get home for his 10 day leave. They haven't told them what time his graduation is (he's ask, they haven't scheduled it??), so he doesn't know what time he can leave base to be able to catch a flight. Not to mention that the cheapest flight (with military discount) we could come up with for him is over $300 and he wouldn't be able to buy the ticket until that day or maybe the day before with the crazy lack of information. (And he'll have to fly back to Missouri to catch a flight to Japan the week of Thanksgiving and Heaven knows how much that flight will cost!)

We looked at all our options and my Dad and I decided to drive to Missouri and take him a vehicle (that his kind Staff Sergent gave him special permission for) so he can drive home after graduation and give a few of his fellow Texans a lift home. I called Lauren and told her I couldn't make it to craft day :( and we packed our stuff and headed to see bubba!

I was in Saint Louis when I was in high school but that was really my only experience with Missouri. I loved Branson! We didn't go to any shows because Little Miss Coralie can't sit still and be quiet to save her life... but we enjoyed our time together and taking in the area! Which, if you haven't ever been - is beautiful!!

On Saturday after picking Joshua up from base, we checked out the Bass Pro Shop in Springfield. This Bass Pro is huge! We quickly discovered we didn't have the time the store deserved to dedicate to the stop that evening and made plans to return the next day.

Sunday we woke up and had breakfast at the hotel. After breakfast we headed off to a resort in Branson that was hosting the Vietnam War Wall Monument that travels all over the country. When I was really young I vaguely remember my mom taking us to see this on a rainy day in a neighboring town. I knew it wouldn't be a long stop, none of us knew any names to look for on the wall but we wanted to see the Monument.

After visiting the Monument we headed back to Springfield to spend the better part of the day at the Bass Pro Shop. We had a good time! We were there for about an hour before Cora and I went inside, she had fallen asleep and I didn't dare wake her up to just go inside, so we both took a nap in the van for a little bit.

After Bass Pro it was dinner time and we were hungry! We'd heard great things about Lamberts in Ozark (between Springfield and Branson) so we braved the line (we waited 40 minutes, a short wait by all accounts) and we're so glad we did! Their food was delicious and it was a fun experience for all of us. Lamberts is the home of the "throwed rolls" they throw rolls across the restraunt to serve them and there are rotating servers who bring around delicous sides to serve on paper towels at the table in addition to your meal and it's sides (fried okra, macaroni and tomatoes, potatoes and onions...). It was all so good! We took more than half our food home and worked on finishing it the next day.

Monday was the last day of warm weather and our last full day in Branson. We kicked off the day with a visit to the Fish Hatchery in Branson. I think Joshua got a bigger kick out of feeding the trout than Cora did! I learned more about spawning trout than I ever cared to know... it doesn't work like you breed catfish if you're wondering. :)
My father also got a lot of giggles out of telling people who were asking about Josh, Cora and I that both Josh and I are his children. They of course assumed we were married. *eye roll*

After the hatchery we went over to College of the Ozarks. This College doesn't charge tuition to it's students, they are dubbed "Hard work U" because they require all their students to earn their education working on campus. We'd heard there was a tour of a working mill and that they had a delicious restaurant that the students served farm to table food produced on campus. We didn't eat on campus, we weren't hungry and knew we had a ton of food back at the hotel. We poked around at the restraunt/gift shop/lodge and then went to see the Mill. The students weren't working it when we were there, but it was still fun to look around.

We enjoyed lunch back at the hotel of our Lamberts leftovers and then Cora and I took another nap while Dad & Josh went to see a Car Museum (that they were disappointed in ): ).

 

That night we went to dinner at Cantina Loradeo in Branson Landing, a nice outlet mall shopping center in town. We were seated next to a nice couple with a little boy a few weeks older than Cora. We started talking about the kids and then it was revealed that the husband served as a Marine years ago. Well, it just so happened to be the Marine Corps Birthday & it's a big deal for Marines. The guys continued to visit throughout the meal and really hit it off, as they were leaving the kind gentlemen mentioned something about enjoying our dessert. I just figured he was assuming we would have dessert? Nope, he ordered Joshua a delicious Mexican Brownie for the Corps Birthday and picked up our dinner ticket. It was such a nice gesture from one Marine to another, and of course he and Josh exchanged information & I believe they've been in contact since then.

After dinner we were watching the water fountain (in the cold...) and heard that a big water/fire show should be starting shortly. We were so pleased we stayed to see it! Cora loved watching the display and it was a great ending to such a wonderful trip!

Tuesday (Veterans Day) we headed home, via a 4 hour detour taking Josh back on base. It was a loonnnggg drive home, particularly with a one year old in tow. It helped that my Dad and I could take turns driving back since we'd left one car with Joshua on base. It did not help that throughout the whole trip and on the way home too, I had a bad bit of motion sickness.

I'm so glad we made the trip! It was a fun time for all of us and in a year or two while Josh is serving overseas I'm sure we'll look back on this time fondly!

To see reviews of all the places we went in Branson (and our other trips too), check out my Trip Advisor profile! Trip Advisor is my favorite go to travel site for reviews and suggestions!

2014 Fall Bucket List & November Goals

This is going to be a busy month! I'm looking forward to lots of Thanksgiving Holiday festivities as well as accomplishing lots of work at our house.

The fun stuff first - 

November is going to end up being just as busy if not more so than October was. In November we're looking Forward to:

Jacob's senior recital

Joshua being home for his 10 day leave
Family Thank-mas with Josh home

Stephanie's lingerie shower (for me to attend...)

Jacob's bachelor party (for John of course)

Thanksgiving celebrations with all the family

Some of the not so fun things that I have to attend to are - 

Getting settled in at our house. For a various sundry of reasons we're still camping out at my Dad's house. It's been so great that we've had his spare room available to us, but we're ready to be in our own home and back on a better routine. 

I need to go to the dentist. :( I've been putting it off for a while. I went while I was pregnant with Cora because I hadn't been in a long time and that's one of the things that everyone says you should do while pregnant. They didn't want to do x-rays while I was there because of the baby but they suspected some cavities. I'm *really* dreading going back, I know that it will be at least 3 more visits, one for the cleaning and x-rays another for fillings on half my mouth and another for fillings on the other half. I don't wanna! :(  Really my only motivation is I don't want to put it off so long that I'm pregnant again and even though none of the cavities are bothering me (they said they all looked very minor - likely a result of fabulous pregnancy hormones) I really don't want to be pregnant, miserable with a cavity and there not be much they can do for me.

And lastly, I have got to give up cokes! I have just never been able to kick this habit completely! I'll get so close to going a while without them and then pick them up because of a "special event"or party and then can't drop them again. They're truly my addiction. Coffee, I like it but I can take it or leave it, sweets same thing I can live without them but Cokes are so hard for me to not to just grab. When we're at our house it'll be easier in the sense that we just won't have them around. God give me will power!!

What are your November/Fall plans?

Finish This Week 44

It has been a little bit of a crazy week around our household. Joshua, my youngest brother received his verbal orders that he will be going to Japan for two years. We're so relieved that this isn't a combat zone, but also sad that we likely won't see him for at least a year. That's what Skype is for, right? We're scrambling around trying to figure out how he's getting home for leave, whether or not any of us are going to Missouri next Friday for his graduation and all of this being complicated by the fact that he doesn't have paper orders yet that include details like times & specific dates. This also means he won't be at our brother Jacob's wedding and for sure will miss Christmas (he's awaiting word on whether or not he can extend his scheduled leave to be home for Thanksgiving).

This was his version of sending me a picture of him at the Marine Student Ball yesterday.

Apparently there was no one else there to take a picture of him... silly boys. 

 On to the Finish This link up!

_______ makes me smile because

My daughter, because she so silly and full of life

My husband, because he is a big kid - always goofing around!

The song service in church, because there's something so wonderful about praising Him!

I put my trust

in my family, both immediate and extended. My husband, I rely on him entirely!

In God, because He's got this! (though sometimes I forget to put my trust in Him. Working on that.)

I don't

the first thing that came to mind is smoke. I don't smoke, never have, never will - never had a desire to.

I don't drink enough water :( I don't know why I'm so bad about this, but I'm awful at hydrating. 

Join us in the weekly link up! Also, it's 8 weeks until the Year In Review link up! (can you believe that we're 8 weeks out from the end of 2014?!?) I participated last year and am already working on my post this year! You can get more info on this on Nicole's blog!

 

Join us! LISA (COASTLINED), JEN (The Arizona Russums), BECKY (The Java Mama) and NICOLE (Three 31)

 

Boo! Black Kitty Cat!

This year for Halloween our little Pumpkin Coralie is a black kitten!

It's sheer laziness that this is what I selected her costume to be. She already had the black tights and shirt, I had the supplies for the tutu around the house. We even had the tail packed away from a past Halloween. 

The only thing I had to buy was the cute little ears that clipped right into her hair! 

We took Miss Kitty Cat to our home church for the Trunk or Treat to get some candy (for Mom & Dad to eat of course) and for Grandpa to show her off. 

I'm linking up with Julie and Natasha! The link up runs through the 6th, join us!

Challenges

I have been blogging for three years. Over the years there have been a various sundry of topics that I choose not to blog about because they're too personal or just something I don't feel comfortable talking about for the whole world to see. 

One of these topics is my mother-in-law. 

I don't want to be that person. That person that just can't won't get along with her in-laws. 

I can't tell you how much I want a great relationship with my MIL. I want what my Mom had with her parents in-law. She might as well have been their daughter. She loved them, they loved her. They got along like my Mom had been in the family her whole life.

I've written countless posts about things that have disappointed me or frustrated me but I've always decided against publishing these posts. They were usually things that in that moment affected me in a big way, but in the grand scheme of things didn't matter. They were a discrepancy between my expectations of what she should do and what she actually does. Issues that in many ways an uncomfortable conversation would resolve but I usually decide against the conversation because I know, in the long run - it isn't worth it.

You see, I love my mother-in-law because she is my husbands mother and my daughters grandmother. I know she loves me. I know she loves my daughter. She doesn't mean to disappoint me or to frustrate me (or my husband, it's not just me with the issues).
That's just something that comes with the territory because my mother-in-law is bipolar. 

Before meeting John's Mother I had never had extensive contact with someone who struggles with mental illness. I'm still learning about it and learning the differences between what is an issue of her illness and what are difficulties we have in the differences between our personalities. I'm a firm believer that she is an adult and is still responsible for her actions. Her illness is not always an excuse for her actions. 

You ask why I'm writing about this now? I have a daughter and sometimes tough choices have to be made. Recently things have changed and it has become a big part of our lives and some of those tough decisions have been made and we're living with the consequences. 

Just because it was the right choice doesn't mean that it was easy and didn't hurt us. You see, my MIL chose to stop taking her medication. As a result we decided that she cannot see Cora while she is so unhealthy mentally. That medication and being stable is required to be involved in our child's life. This of course meant that we were saying she couldn't attend Cora's First Birthday Party next weekend.

As you can imagine, this didn't go over well and my poor husband is really the one dealing with the consequences. He's the one that had to tell such a hard thing to his Mom. We're both also dealing with the effects of the fact that things escalated and his mother has been admitted to an MHMR. There is a lot of unknown in her life, the life of her husband (who had a stroke years ago and is quite dependent on his now unavailable wife). In the mean time we're trying to pick up the pieces and help but not condone, we know she's sick but she also made the choice to stop taking the meds. Choices have consequences.

I am writing this because I know there are people out there who have to be in similar boats as me. There's no way that I'm the only one in the world that has a MIL with a mental illness. I can't possibly be the only one dealing with the problems associated with this, but I can't find anyone who really truly understands, who can relate. I'm writing this so that if this is you too, you know you're not alone!

I hope to continue occasionally writing about these struggles, I want to be honest and open about reality as the daughter-in-law. I also want to be respectful of my MIL and that's a hard line to walk sometimes. 

If you would, please pray for my family. This is a very trying time and as I said, there is a lot of unknown.

• Specifically unknown is whether or not she will still have a job when she is released? 
• Pray for her health and healing.
• Pray for my husband. He stands by his/our choice on how to handle the situation and our daughters involvement but it's hard.
  He's also stretched very thin between work and deadlines/presentations, a kind of crazy time at home as we're still in between houses (aka camped out at my Dad's house) then dealing with all of this. 
• Pray for our Marriage, we're not having problems... but it's challenging on a normal, regular basis coping with her illness and how it affects our relationship to her. Add in the camping out between houses, plus a stressful job, plus remodeling issues at the new house etc. As you can imagine things are certainly taking their toll.
• Pray for me. About a year ago I realized I needed to stop praying that things with her will change and that I need to change. Pray that I have grace, patience and understanding. 

Vacation - Part 1

We made a huge road trip to attend Joshua's graduation from Marine Basic Training in San Diego, California.

The trip started off with our family reunion in West Texas, then from there we made a quick stop off in Lubbock for the night. Lubbock to Flagstaff, AZ (stopping in Alburqurque, NM), the Grand Canyon to San Diego. After a few days in sunny San Diego we headed back to Texas after stopping in Tuscon, AZ. 

It was a great trip and I can't wait to share it with you! It had many challenges, the prime one being keeping Cora entertained (and all of us sane) for the 45 + hours of driving (over 3,000 miles!). 

Day 1 - Family Reunion

My mothers family has a reunion in west Texas every summer. When we were planning the trip we were upset that we wouldn't be able to make it this year with it being Cora's first reunion and Stephanie (future sis-in-love) first year (almost) in the family so we reworked the plans and were able to arrive on Friday at the beginning of the reunion and stay through the afternoon on Saturday.

Day 2 - Lubbock

We left the reunion and traveled to stay with family in Lubbock. It was only a couple of hours from the reunion but when traveling with a little one, those hours are important when shaving them off of the long drive we had on day 3.

Day 3 - Travel to Flagstaff, AZ

When planning the trip I knew that we'd need to stop somewhere about half way and let Cora (and the rest of us) have some time free from the car. I picked the National Petroglyph Monument in Albuquerque, NM for us to stop and picnic at for lunch and give us the opportunity to hike some to stretch our legs.

There were several trails and it was an almost free ($2 per car) place to stop and sure beat a road-side park or a gas station parking lot.

Though this was one of the longer legs of the journey, it really didn't feel like such an awful drive but we sure were glad when we made it to our destination for the night, Flagstaff, AZ.

We grabbed a nice quiet dinner at the cutest diner on Historic Route 66.

I must have hit my head and not recalled the incident because I was a mess during dinner. I managed to spill my drink everywhere, make a huge mess with my food and when shaking the ketchup bottle the lid came off and sprayed ketchup all over the restaurant... I about died of embarrassment. The staff was very sweet about my disasters, all of them.


This was just the start of the trip, Grand Canyon (at Sunrise!) and San Diego to come!

Coralie - 8 & 9 Months

June and July have been all about trying to find a new 'normal' after such a busy April and May. In some ways I'd like to say we have found the new normal but in that same breath I have to acknowledge that this new normal needs some serious repair, I'll discuss that more when I talk about her sleep habits...

Weight/Height: 20.5 lbs, I'll confirm her weight and get her height at her 9 month appointment coming up next Tuesday. 
Health: She is healthy as a horse. Occasionally we worry some about ear aches, when we see her pulling at her ears off an on but from everything I read, they can usually clear up without antibiotics, so I keep some expressed breast milk in a dropper and drop a couple of drops in as needed. So far, no fever and no signs that the ear infection has progressed from the two times we've suspected it.
Nicknames: "Cor-Cor", "Cora Bora", "Chunky monkey", "pumpkin"
Teething: This poor kid still doesn't have any teeth. On one hand, I'm quite grateful as I assume that this is handy in our nursing... but I can tell she is in some pain. She doesn't like teethers but she has given in and seems to really like cubes of ice stuck in the mesh feeders. She'll also gnaw on anything hard she can get her hands on (that aren't teethers). She's got about 8 teeth under the surface just waiting to pop out, so I'm sure once this process starts, she'll go from no teeth to a mouth full!
Clothing: She is in 9 month clothing, some 12 month outfits. She has completly outgrown everything 6-9 months. 
Diapers:Cloth at home but size 3 when in disposables.
Eating: Milk - She is still being nursed. She nurses at least once during the night most nights, once first thing in the morning, at afternoon nap, again around dinner time if she is cranky and needs a quick nap and just before and at night before bed. On occasion we'll squeeze in a "snack" nursing session at other times to soothe or solve a grumpy mood. Water- after her last pedi appointment we started giving her small amounts of water in a sippy cup to get her accustomed to drinking from one for when the time comes to start weaning her. So far we haven't had a lot of luck with sippy cups... we've honestly only tried two so far without much luck. On our vacation she had a day where she got a bit dehydrated. It wasn't ever serious I started realizing how few wet diapers she'd had for the day and started shoving pedialyte down her before it had a chance to become an issue. After that water became a big deal while we were still in desert climates. She gladly took a water bottle with a hole poked in the cap over her sippy cup... not sure what conventional sippy cup we'll return to but for now this ghetto method works.  Solids - As John fondly states, Cora's favorite foods are the ones that we're eating. She eats like a champ! If it's soft and pliable or small enough for her to gum up and swallow whole she'll eat it happily! Some of her favorite snacks are vanilla wafers from Slaton Bakery, Veggie Straws, Cherrios (and ahem, anything sweet that Mommy may be eating).
ZzzZ...Sleeping: Oh sleep... I discussed this issue at length at the family reunion with many moms of differing opinions and parenting styles... I think we've found a solution but I just don't want to face it yet. I think we're going to have to resort to Crying it out... :(  Starting about 2 months ago now, Cora started refusing to sleep in her crib! I really wanted to make her sleeping in her room work so I was crashing in the glider in her room or on blankets on her floor. We finally resorted to putting a twin bed in there for me. After fighting with her, wrestling her to sleep (the idea of her self soothing and falling asleep alone is laughable...) then putting her in her crib only to have her wake time after time. Eventually she just ended up sleeping in whatever uncomfortable position I was in. Now, she's back in bed with us. It's been the easy solution, and I am all for co-sleeping in certain situations but we're not really wanting to co-sleep anymore. So, as soon as we have the house to ourselves again (we have had lots of house guests I don't want to inflict tears upon), sleep training it is!

Our little Socialite: Cora is generally a pretty social baby but recently she has acquired some stranger danger. She doesn't really want to be passed around endlessly anymore. She's quite comfortable with the people she sees most, Mommy, Daddy, Grandpa, all her Uncles (even Josh who she hadn't seen since he left for Boot Camp!), and Aunt Stephanie. If you're not on that list you have a 50/50 shot at whether or not she'll have a fit if you hold her.  She is very talkative, she clearly says "Momma" and "Daddy". We joke that she's also our little German Baby because as she has been babbling she likes to vocalize "nine-nine-nine-nine" as she is upset. 
Likes: Her doggies, really any animals she can touch and pet. She has really started grabbing ahold of hair and yanking. She loves being worn by her Momma and Daddy has started baby wearing much to her pleasure! When fussy (particularly in the car when there's not much I can do to calm) she is endlessly fascinated with food and eating!   Dislikes: bed time! being passed around large groups of people, diaper changes (she tries to escape, but Mommy has figured out how to put a diaper on with Cora on all 4's!), 
New: She full-on crawls now! She is a fast little bugger and likes to chase Daddy around the house! In the last 3 weeks she has started working on standing on her own but can't stand without assistance for more than 30 seconds or so.  

 

Fun things we did: Birthday parties for Ady and for a set of her twin cousins (June), play date with baby Becca (June), her first Fourth of July (including parade and fireworks!) (July), saw her Uncle Mike Aunt Val and Cousin Matt as they passed through town. Her first Vacation! Family Reunion, visited New Mexico, Arizona, California. Saw Uncle Joshua graduate from Marine Boot Camp.
Goings on with Mommy: Mommy is staying home with Cora full time now! I love this time with her! This is going to be our first full week of me being at home, so we're still working on a schedule but it is soooo nice not to mess with pumping! It was a little painful at first as my supply dropped down from the excess of pumping to just what Cora needs (and of course it was while we were on vacation & I didn't take a pump) but isn't an issue any more!

Goings on with Daddy: Daddy is loving his time with Cor Cor! She thinks he is all play! We'll have to work on her recognizing him as an authority, but for now it's great watching them play and interact! She gets a huge smile as he walks through the door each day!
Exciting Future: Next week is her 9 month pediatrician well visit and though we're not excited about it, Uncle Josh leaves again for more training with the Marines. It is possibly the last time we will see him before he is stationed (potentially) over seas.  We're scheduled to go to a Rangers game with friends in a couple of weeks! After that really the only big things on our horizons are a Tech football game and Little Miss Cora turning 1!! (I'm of course already planning that party!)
 

Prayers for Joshua

This morning my "baby" brother reported to Dallas MEPS for processing to MCRD (Marine Corps Recruitment Depot, San Diego), or 'boot camp'.

Our family is so very proud of Joshua and the commitment he is making and his desire to serve our country. Though proud, we're such a close family, in some ways he's more than a brother and more of a son; this is going to be a very tough time for all of us.

If you would please join us in praying for his safety and the safety of all the other Recruits in India Company as they start their journey to becoming Marines. The Marine Corps Boot Camp is 12 weeks full of tough emotional and physical training. We have faith that he will come through this strong, but prayers are coveted and greatly appreciated!

Joshua and I at his last family dinner on Friday

Coralie - 5 months Old!

Every single month I think that it is more fun than the last - I have really enjoyed Cora's 5th month of life! By the time I got around to publishing her 4 month update she had already drastically changed! She's almost nothing like the little baby girl I brought home! She doesn't even look the same! She's fully mastered the pacifier going in and out of her mouth, no more sideways chewing unless she wants to!  She mastered rolling from her front to back just in time to brag to her Pediatrician for her 5 month appointment! She doesn't use rolling as a source of much transportation, but she can certainly get from one area of the rug to another! We're in the beginning stages of child proofing, mostly just paying close attention to what is in her area that she could get into (like my Dad's sandles she attempted to chew on the other day!). Still no crawling, but she's closer every day! 

But MOM I don't want to roll for the camera!

Lunch after Baby Dedication

Sleeping has it's ups and downs. Like everything with babies, there isn't much of a "normal" and everything throws off the little normalcy we do have. She was mostly sleeping through the night then her shots made her feel puny and that messed up sleeping for a while, then we were almost back on schedule and stupid daylight savings came around and blew that out of the water. Since then our busy life has kept us out past her bed time a few too many times making life difficult. I never would have imagined that it would be so important to me to be home by 7:30 every night so she can be in bed by 8:00! It's also really difficult to manage that on a regular basis! Part of the sleep complications have been we have taken her sound machine away. I always assumed that we would love her having a sound machine. John has to have noise to sleep so hearing noise over the monitor doesn't bother us at all. I want her to sleep through my loud rowdy family, so a sound machine seemed like a natural step. When my brother Jacob and his girlfriend Stephanie were in town for Spring Break, Jacob heard the sound machine one night and mentioned that he had read an article about how it delays speech development. After a little bit of research, yup - he was right! So now we shut off the sound machine after an hour so she is having to learn to put herself back to sleep as she comes in and out of deep sleep in her sleeping patterns. 

Nursing is still going well, we've almost kicked the guard habit!! She is really close to holding her own bottle when she is eating with Grandpa (my Dad) or her Daddy! She can manage it for a few seconds, but tires easily.

She has sort of gotten her first solids; every time we eat she is so interested in what we're having. She reaches out for it and wants to hold it so I've started letting her try a little of whatever I'm having that's age appropriate. She never actually eats any of it, she generally holds it or plays with it. The other night we were out for dinner with John's parents and she was of course paying close attention to my food so I offered her some guacamole (very mild, I promise - basically just smooched avocados!) and she actually ate it (and played in it!)! I was very surprised and a little embarrassed at the fact that my childs first food is less than ideal! She hasn't taken any food since, and that's fine! We'll keep breast feeding and offering solids here and there. I'm in no rush to make the transition. 

Her favorite toys are the same; "Mr. Foot" (sock monkey), "Stewart" (the lion), her tambourine, walker and jumparoo. We've also added in a couple of new favorites - a purse with a mirror and rice paper lining so it crunches when she plays with it and "Charming" her stuffed frog! She is quite the Daddy's Girl! Each night they dance and sing together before bed to special Daddy Daughter songs. I love watching them bond like that! When we're out and about they've created their own game of "mask", Cora will hold his thumb and little finger and pull his hand down onto her face then push it off, this goes on for 5 or so minutes at a time and she just loves it! It entertains her when nothing else will.

                                                                                       In her 5th month:

Juliet giving Cora a kiss!

She rolled from back to front, had her first food, We dedicated her in church vowing to raise her up to know Christ as her Father, She met her Great Uncle BD (the last of the "immediate" family to meet!),  and attended her first birthday party for our friend Juliet! We had play dates and lunch dates with her Great Grandparents, Angela and Elenor, Susan (my Doula) and Finn, and Frances.

Cora 4 months old

We did a Valentines Photo shoot for Daddys gift!

This last month has been so much fun. Cora is very aware of her surroundings and is beginning to play and like adventures. The drool, oh goodness there is drool everywhere! I would think she's teething, but I don't see any signs of it in her mouth. She loves to suck and slobber all over her fist or any toy. She'll take her passifier out of her mouth, and sometimes tries to put it back but hasn't mastered turning it the right direction. This doesn't seem to really phase her, she'll just suck on the side or back of her passifier until someone turns it right for her.

Tummy time isn't nearly as much of a fight, if she doesn't want to be on her tummy now she just rolls over to her back. She hasn't mastered rolling from her back to her front yet but I can tell she is capable of it. She rolls on to both of her sides very well. I'm waiting for the day that she figures out how to move herself from place to place by rolling.

Crawling hasn't happened yet but I'm very encouraged to see that she wants to. In the evenings she and her daddy will sit on the living room rug and play. She churns her legs like crazy and pushes up on her arms but the coordination just isn't there to move forward. She does a pretty good job of spinning herself around with a lot of effort.

This month Cora moved out of our room and into her own. She spent about 4 nights in her bassinet in her own room before we went ahead with the transition to her crib. Her crib doesn't seem to affect her any, that transition was very easy! One night we just put her in her crib rather than bassinet. I'm thrilled that the bed transition went well but sleeping isn't so much. We've lightly tried some sleep training techniques but haven't had much luck. She is capable of sleeping through the night and will do it sometimes but not consistently. Starting at 2 or 3 am if she wakes up I just bring her back to bed with us rather than repeating more trips through the entire house to get to her room. 

Oh! and that poor crib sheet has to be changed at least once a week. Not because of the usual baby messes (spit up has drastically dropped this month!!! I've taken her off her reflux medicine entirely!). She's loosing her hair! She looks bald in pictures because the dark hair is falling out and being replaced by blonde hair.

Each night we start getting ready for bed at about 7:15. She gets a bath every other day unless she's gotten especially gross on a particular day. After bath time John diapers her and gives her a leg massage with lavender lotion; then pajamas. I read her a story and John kisses her goodnight then she gets one last feeding for the day (hopefully, unless she wakes up again later...). I'm trying very hard to keep her awake during this feeding and putting her down in her crib drowsy but still somewhat awake. So far this isn't terribly successful, this girl really likes to fall asleep eating!

Speaking of eating... she eats a ton! She hasn't really increased her feedings; on days that I work she nurses with me then goes to Grandpas for the day where she drinks 5 bottles. We nurse almost immediately when I get home, then she cluster feeds most nights and has another really good feeding right before bed. I'm not sure what she is weighing these days (her 4 month check up and vaccination appointment is coming up in a few weeks) but she's clearly growing! She's out of all NB clothes and very close to being out of all of 0-3, there's just a few onsies and shirts she's still squeezing into. 

We're still holding out on not giving her solids yet. She observes us eating but that seems to be strictly a matter of curiosity. On a whim the other day I gave her a veggie straw as I was snacking on them. She enjoyed holding it but didn't even attempt to take it to her mouth. Unless something major changes, we're planning to skip the cereal in the bottle and puree stage completely and follow a baby led weaning plan and offer real food after she's 6 months old and meets some milestones showing us she is ready for solids. I'm still loving to nurse her but I also know that she likely won't sleep through the night regularly without eating solids. Breast milk is perfect for her now because it's easy to digest... precisely why she doesn't stay full for 8 or more hours. 

Little Miss Cora is learning to self entertain. She has a longer attention span for these things in the mornings - she still loves her jumparoo and will spend up to an hour in it on the mornings I'm home with her. She has an exersaucer at her Grandpa's house that she enjoys but isn't willing to spend much more than 10 minutes in. Her favorite self entertaining toy is her walker (This momma is proud to say she found it on sale for $7! Yay for Target!)! I don't know what it is about her walker but she loves being in it! She still loves her Mr. Foot stuffed sock monkey but her love is split between him and her tambourine. Poor Mr. Foot has a disadvantage because he doesn't sing to her and she adores music. "Shake shake the tambourine, music is such fun! Feel the beat and keep on shaking, listen everyone!" She shakes the tambourine, it sings that delightful repetitive tune and John and I both join in singing its incessant jingle. This new self entertaining is great in the evenings - she'll play in her high chair while I cook dinner.

She's still wearing cloth diapers every day that I'm with her. Both John and I love them. She's never had a cloth diaper blow out but regularly does when she's in disposables. I'll be adding to the CD collection as soon as it's in the budget with prefolds and covers, old school! 

This warm weather has been great! I'm so excited to share all the outdoor activities that spring and summer bring with Cora! So far she has enjoyed her first trip to the park where Daddy & I took turns taking baby girl down the slide and she had a nice time swinging.

Workin' Momma Tales

This last month I returned to the office. I can honestly say that the first day was the most emotional drive to work ever! Every day I tell myself not to be dramatic, that thousands of moms return to work at six weeks and leave their babies but this is H.A.R.D. So much harder than I expected. And making it more complicated is the fact that thanks to doctor appointments and the "Icepocolypse 2013" as they're calling it, we haven't had enough "normal" days in a row to establish and maintain any form of a routine.

I haven't struggled with any Postpartum Depression, and about the extent of my Baby Blues revolved around complete and total exhaustion. That being said, I truly question if I'm dealing with a bit of PPD in consideration of how poorly I'm dealing with this transition. As I was venting and talking it out with a friend I realized that much of my frustration is that after coming back to work almost all my time revolves around the fact I am working. I get home from work, spend 10 or 15 minutes hugging and cuddling Cora then I have household responsibilities I have to rush to in preparation for the next day of work. Pumping makes my milk supply go up so much that I have to pump at home to prevent engorgement, there's another 20 minutes pump time (two or three times while I'm home) and then storing milk and sanitizing pump parts and bottles for the next day is almost an hour of work each night. Many working moms I see have the expendable income to hire a housekeeper to reduce some of that evening chore load, they also eat out quite a bit to ease the time in the kitchen; these just aren't options for us.

Pumping breastmilk at work is also an adventure on its own! I'll have to do a seperate post on that later. If you were ever wondering why employers, by law have to provide a place other than the bathroom for a working mother to pump (and many large companies provide a place other than the persons office) - it's because pumping in your office can be very awkward! I figured it wouldn't be a big deal, I have a perfectly good door & pumping in my office would allow me to work while I pump. WELL... I rarely close my door, if anything I half close it to indicate I don't have time to talk and would rather not be disturbed. Nevermind that my door closed normally means I'm either not here or not available, I swear half the time I close it now to pump someone (always a man...) comes and knocks on the door! This leaves me sitting there thinking of an appropriate response because "just a minute" doesn't quite cut it and "I'm pumping" seems too personal/tmi. OR they know I'm pumping so rather than coming to my door, they buzz my phone to talk to me. As if it isn't horribly awkward to talk to someone while a machine is milking you.

My Crazy Daily Bag!

I'm also not ashamed to admit that I cried like a baby when I spilled 4 ounces of breast milk all over my desk. (It may or may not have also been a hard day and our cat died the night before...)

Everyday I look like I'm moving into my office! The bag holds my pump, pump parts & stored milk for in the fridge at work, lunch, purse and backup drives for the office I have to carry to and from work each day. 

My survival tips

Lists! Embrace that Mommy brain and start making lists now! They're the best and it's the only way I get everything ready for Coralie for the next day and all the stuff I haul to work for pumping each day. Not to mention any normal life things I need to remember!

Crock Pot! It's no secret that I have a slight love affair with my crock pot, it's been so nice that dinner is just a few quick steps away from finished many nights and I don't have to take the time to prepare something from start to finish. We've had several meals revolving around the things I've made multiple servings of in the good ol' crocker - Baked Potatoes, Buffalo Chicken, Taco Meat. Those three meal preps fed us for six nights with variations on the meal. Boring but efficient!

Moms, how do you do it? Does it get easier or will I always feel this resentful about working and leaving my daughter?

Coralie - 1 Month

This month has gone by so quickly! Cora is still so tiny but her development changes daily! She's grown so much, I can tell a huge difference in her from her newborn pictures to today!

Cora at One Month:
- Mommy finally got her scheduled & in for newborn pictures!
- She generally sleeps 6 or 7 hours at night! Sometimes we revert backwards to the every two or three hours for a feeding.
- She still sleeps in her bassinet or in Mommy & Daddy's bed.

-Her awake periods are much longer and she's very alert.  She will nap about 30 minutes between feedings on average with only an hour long nap in the morning and evening. 

-She still loves her swing and bouncer
- She can hold her head up unassisted for long periods of time and loves belly time, particularly with her Boppy Pillow for support.
- She exceeded her birth weight! At her weight check, she was up to 9.5 pounds!
- Went with Mommy & Daddy to her first movie at the Drive in Theater! Catching Fire!

Cora at 5 Weeks:
- Slept for 8 full hours one night (after a very busy day meeting her Uncle Mike, Aunt Val & cousin Matt!)
- First church Thanksgiving pot luck! (Second time to church!)
- Her first Thanksgiving!
- Joined Mom, Dad & Granda on a Black Friday Shopping trip!

- She outgrew her first Newborn outfit! 

- She is really fighting gas but we're learning techniques to help her rather than giving her gas drops all the time.

 1. One Month Old! 2. Thanksgiving pot luck at church 3. Uncle Jacob came home & brought this nifty shirt from NYC 4. Meeting Uncle Mike & Aunt Val 5. Cuddling with Grandpa during Black Friday shopping 6. Thanksgiving outfits 7. Going for a walk at Grandmas.

{Working} Mommy Tales:

Next week I have to return to work. Words can't describe how much I'm dreading this. For now, until she has shots & is a little older, my Dad will be keeping her. Even with knowing she is well taken care of by Grandpa, I'm still really emotional and uneasy about this. Since we got her out of NICU, I've never spent more than 2 hours apart from her, I have no desire to be away from her. I should be able to return just part time, working 3 days a week, but I need to get the go-ahead from my boss tomorrow morning.

I'm also quite nervous about how it is going to work moving from exclusively breast feeding with maybe one bottle a day, to most of her feedings by bottle and needing to pump at work. I've heard of so many moms that go back to work and the combination of stressors and lack of time to pump end up depleting or eliminating their milk supply. Financially and emotionally we can't afford for that to happen. I really want (and need) to continue breast feeding her until she's 6 months and we introduce solids.

Cora's First Christmas Bucket List

Baby Girl!

It has been a very crazy week(!!) so I'm just now getting to post this:

Baby Girl arrived Monday, October 21 at 10:57 am

(the day before her due date!)

8 Pounds, 12 Ounces

Skin to Skin with Daddy before Mommy could be there

20 Inches Long

Long Brown Hair, Dark Grey eyes (I'm expecting them to turn Brown like Daddy's), Long fingernails & toe nails!  She loves vocalizing about everything - the cutest little squeeks ever! A good Baby, she is already doing great with her schedule and doesn't cry unless there's a reason! Breastfeeding like a champ, especially considering the late start we got with the stay in NICU!

There were some respiratory issues at first, it was scary and such an unexpected issue. Birth was perfect, so for some reason I never anticipated there being any other issues. I never considered the idea of my baby being sick, I only prepared for the various complications I may experience. BUT, she is doing so well! We were able to leave the NICU days earlier than anticipated & we are all home now! We are just very, very in love with our Precious Baby Girl!

I hope that this week will be a little less crazy and we will start settling down into a routine and maybe, just maybe I'll find time for showers for Mommy and a little blogging! I can't wait to share her birth story & how our Natural Birth Plan turned out.

Thank you all so much, so many of you saw our posts on Facebook or Instagram and have reached out and offered support and concern. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! I feel so blessed that Blogging has afforded me the opportunity to meet so many wonderful ladies and make such great friends!

Serving in your Church & Community

 

It isn't a secret that I have trouble saying "no" when someone comes to me needing help with something. Usually this takes the form of some leadership responsibility role that quite simply, I don't have time for. I love serving others, I believe it is my Spiritual Gift; so I usually don't mind - it can just make things hard when dates start stacking on top of each other & I look like Mrs. Frizzle from Magic School Bus trying to get it all done.

During my pregnancy, I have had a life lesson and have had to learn to prioritize. I cut back on my responsibilities wherever I could and let things go that I would have really rather not to have lost. I did this for a couple of reasons. While God has blessed us with a healthy pregnancy, I've been quite sick throughout the whole thing. Physically, I just couldn't stand up to the requirements of some of my usual commitments. Many of my commitments that I usually make throughout the year come up in the Fall & Winter, the tale end of my pregnancy and the first chapter of our lives as a family of three. As much as it hurt me to have to say no, I knew that my Husband and my Daughter deserve my attention and I just couldn't make that commitment, it wasn't fair to the project or my family.

Usually I think it's awesome when someone is strong enough to stand up against pressure and say "no, I just can't". A simple concept to some, saying "no" - but obviously a complex issue for me. However, here of late hearing others say "no" has become so frustrating.  People have become so reliant on people like me that when those willing to serve can't there isn't anyone there to take their place. This isn't exclusive to me attempting to get my remaining responsibilities covered for when Baby Girl arrives. This has become an epidemic in our churches and communities. 

When the do-er can't do anymore the project that everyone agrees is great, wonderful and necessary falls apart or is cancelled entirely.

That just isn't fair. It isn't fair to the people who have spent years holding up that project for everyone's benefit, just to helplessly stand aside and watch it crumble when their "can't" is legitimate and no one will step up to the plate & take their place. 

Today I challenge you, next time you are asked to take a role or a responsibility - don't just brush it aside because it will take time. What worth-while cause doesn't take a commitment of time?

If it is time you don't feel you "have", ask yourself what you would be doing with that time otherwise? Does it cut into time you spend serving others or the Lord? Does it conflict with your job? Or is it simply an inconvenience?

Our Natural Birth Plan

 This is the birth plan that John and I have prepared. We want as natural of a birth as possible and will be having a hospital birth after we labor at home as long as we can. I'm happy to answer any questions about our preferences or why we made a particular selection or decision. 

(Look for my *notes* for commentary on a particular decision or wording)

I know that all over the internet you read that you shouldn't let your birth plan go more than one page. We talked to our Midwife about this - she said she didn't mind a longer birth plan. Particularly since we broke ours out into stages of labor, so if you don't have time to read it all - you can get the highlights of what is relevant at the time. We went ahead and broke out each part onto it's own page so that once we moved past that stage, it wasn't there as a distraction if someone needed to read it quickly.

We wrote our birth plan using several different resources out there - there's no point in reinventing the wheel if you don't have to. Check out some of these other great natural birth plans that we used when researching: Our Biggest Influence - Young Nesters

A great printable Birthplan check list if you'd rather go that route! Ultimate Guide to Mommy Survival

Another great birth plan & some excellent ideas on what you should include - Going Green with the Grizls 
And in regards to what newborn procedures we wanted - Modern Alternative Pregnancy

Our Birth Preferences

Pre-Admission Requests

• To only entertain the idea of artificial induction of labor if: Labor is unusually delayed & there is medical urgency.
• If induction of labor is necessary, breaking the sack of waters and wait a reasonable period of time to see if labor can progress without the use of artificial induction medications (such as pitocin).
• If there are no signs of infection after the sac of water breaks, to delay induction for a reasonable period of time. 
  
  *We never intend for our birth preferences to be the final word, we recognize that birth is a natural process and at times "going with the flow" is necessary. By phrasing "reasonable period of time" we felt that we were flexible to what the doctors recommend, but still expressing that we'd really like to not use artificial induction if at all possible. I really like that it leaves a wide gap of flexibility to decide in the moment if necessary*
• To remain at home as long as possible before going to the hospital.

For Hospital Admission & Throughout Labor

We request:

• For our nurses, doctors and support staff to support our goal of a natural birth and in the absence of medical urgency, not preform any procedures that could unnecessarily prevent or prohibit our desire for the most natural birth possible. 
• The opportunity to discuss our birth preferences with our assigned nurse.
• To return home until labor progresses if less than 4 cm dilated and no medical reason to suggest a hospital admission is warranted.
• To self-hydrate after admission and opt for a Hep Lock rather than the routine IV preparations. 
  
  
  *I would have preferred to not have a Hep Lock either, I'm not a fan of stuff in my veins - it's very uncomfortable for me. However, it's our hospitals policy that at least a Hep lock be in place for an emergency situation. I can be flexible & I understand their concern so we conceited on this issue*
• To have only intermittent monitoring of FHR after admission & To be free of blood-pressure cuff between readings.
• Maintain dimmed lights and a quiet environment in the room during labor. 
  To be allowed to wear my own gown and be afforded as much modesty as possible.
  
  *I wish I didn't have to put the part about modesty in here, BUT, after a visit to L&D I learned the hard way that if I don't want to be exposed to a whole host of strangers that I still have no clue why they were in my room, I should go ahead and mention that I'd like my lady bits covered when possible.* 
   
• To have my husband, John and Doula, Susan present during birth.
• To respectfully decline to participate in the taking of pain scale information and any offer of medication or labor-enhancing procedures unless requested.
  *This was a hot topic issue for me! I did not want the distraction from focusing on things other than the pain or my coping techniques to have to stop and think about how much pain am I in to answer a question that I think is inaccurate anyway. My pain level 5 may not be anyone elses, the medical staff has nothing in my background to compare what I respond with to my ability to cope with pain and therefore is null in my opinion. I also don't want someone offering drugs because I look like I'm in "pain" or that what I'm doing is "hard". I don't want to be given the options to distract from what I'm working towards. I of course know that the options are there & what options there are so if I decide I need assistance, I know how to ask for it*
  

During First-Stage Labor

• To walk and move freely during labor.
• To change positions and assume labor positions of choice.
• Minimal number of vaginal exams-with permission-to avoid premature rupture of membranes and increased risk of infection.
• In the event labor stalls, I prefer to try as many natural methods as possible to stimulate labor.
• To be fully apprised, consulted and afforded the time to make an educated decision (barring medical urgency) before the introduction of any medical procedure.
• To enjoy labor tub or shower.
• The option for music (I will provide).
• My husband to be allowed to photograph or take video.

                     For Pain Relief I’d like to use:

• Acupressure
• Breathing techniques
• Self Hypnosis
• Massage
• Bath/Shower
• Natural suggestions given by Doula/Midwife.

During Birthing

• To assume a birthing position of choice.
• To push instinctively and to be allowed to progress without time constraints as long as Baby & Mom are doing fine.
• To not have an episiotomy.
• To allow amniotic sac to rupture on its own.
  
  

Following Birthing

• Immediate skin-to-skin contact, with baby placed on mom’s chest.
• Delayed Cord Cutting - the cord to be clamped and cut only after pulsation has ceased.
• Once the cord stops pulsating, Dad cuts cord.
• Wait for natural placenta delivery without intervention
• No cord traction, manual removal or use of Pitocin for removal of placenta unless necessary and only after consulting Mom.
 

 

For Baby

We request:

• To have bright lights temporarily removed at moment of birth and until baby is moved to mother’s chest.
• All Newborn procedures to be done in our presence:
• If birth went as planned and Baby is healthy: APGARs & cleaning to happen at my chest.
• Please only perform PKU, Vitamin K & hearing/sight test on baby after bonding time, no Prophylactic Eye Ointment administered
• Delay Hep B immunization until after hospital stay
  Option to delay or abstain from bath, or if administered, do so in the room with Mom 
• That father and baby stay with mother throughout the hospital stay.
• Breastfeeding several times during the first few hours of baby’s life.
• Breastfeeding only.  No bottles, formula, pacifier, or artificial nipples.
  
  *For newborn procedures we opted in for the Vitamin K shot & PKU tests because of our increased risk for Cystic Fibrosis. We would need to know ASAP if baby girl does have CF which would be made known through the PKU, or heel stick, test. As for Vit K; CF patients tend to have lower levels of naturally occurring Vit K, plus newborns tend to be Vit K deficient anyway. We figured it couldn't hurt.*

In the event of a C-Section I would like:

         
To make sure other options have been exhausted

An epidural for anesthesia

In the event that a C-Section is necessitated, that father will hold the baby after C-section birth and bring baby to mom for viewing and eye contact.  In absence of urgency, father continues to hold baby for bonding.

  *For the C-Section part, we put this on an entirely different page to stick behind the rest of the plan. I didn't really consider having an "incase of" plan for Cesarian, but our Doula encouraged it - she is a VBAC mom and never planned on having her own c-section. While I really don't want a C-section and lots would have to go wrong for us to make it to that point, it's still nice to know that the things that matter most to me in the event that it is necessary are noted & that I've given it thought.*