A Day in My Life: Birth Day Edition

I absolutely love reading other blog's Day in the Life posts so I thought I'd do one myself! I'll probably do a couple more in the coming months to document what my life is like when I'm not working and maybe the flip side of what it's like when I'm preparing to go to a birth (or better yet, don't know that I'll be going to a birth & am called out unexpectedly totally changing my days plans!). As a birth doula and Midwife Assistant my days rarely have an exact routine. I have a goal of a schedule and I do my best to stick to it, but some days, like this one, I'm just happy we're all surviving!

I started documenting at 2:30 am. I was at a birth and had been for a while. This is when I didn't really want coffee but needed some caffeine. I stole a coke out of the refrigerator at the birth center (don't worry I replaced it!). Then back to work (sorry not much can be shared about work due to privacy protection of the patient).

At 3:00 saying hello to the camera as I cleaned instruments.

It's easy to stay awake when you're absolutely exhausted if you're up and moving around. There's lots to do in cleaning a birth center after birth but people were sleeping and I couldn't do much without making too much noise so back to the caffeine habit that I'll never be able to kick! (3:35 am)

my very favorite coffee mug at the birth center!

Fast forward I'm getting to clean the room and flip it. We always have the room totally cleaned and put back together so that we can have another birth come in at any time. 

It's 7:05 & I'm shifting the laundry from washer to dryer and beginning another load. (It was a long day before at the birth center & though I didn't do them all, I think in that 24 hour period we did along the lines of 15 loads of laundry!!)

As I shift laundry I call John, he needed to leave for work 30 minutes before this, but he fortunately had planned on going in late because he had plans that evening and needed to get off later to avoid random down time (not enough time to drive home from Dallas before going to Fort Worth).

The girls are awake at home and he's feeding them breakfast.

I didn't take many pictures though lots was happening - I got the birth room flipped quickly because I had done so much little (quiet) stuff earlier. I knew that the office staff would be in soon so I left a load of wet laundry in the dryer for them to start when they came in and a load running in the washing machine that someone would flip for me later.  

I took out the trash and locked the birth center up, ran (literally, on foot) next door to Walgreens to buy a coke to replace the one I drank & grab lunchables for the girls for Bible Study that day, I knew there was no way I had time to pack them lunches when I got home. Ran back to the birth center, put the coke in the fridge, relocked the birth center (staff must be stuck in traffic because they would usually be in by now) and headed out, I pulled out of the birth center parking lot at 7:30 am...

... realized I needed gas (UGH!) so took the long way out of town to stop off at the gas station (yes our van uses E-85, I didn't accidentally put the wrong kind in the Mommy-Mobile) (7:40 am)

At 7:59 John texted me to ask if I was lost (Insert some serious side eye here) I replied (using voice to text, not actually texting and driving) that no, he left the van with too little gas and I was dealing with that. I was 5 miles from home at that point. 

I arrived home, kissed John goodbye as he headed out the door and kissed the girls hello. I decided on the drive home that I was going to go ahead with the casserole I needed to make for Bible Study that morning because the idea of getting off the interstate, stopping, getting both girls out of the van, going inside after donuts, loading them again and back on the interstate was more trouble than throwing something in the oven to bake while I showered. 

Turns out that John had used some of the hashbrowns and eggs for the girls breakfast that morning. So, I improvised the too few ingredients into some version of a casserole and chunked it in the oven, ran through the shower and dressed (in yesterdays clothes right out of my on-call bag where I put them when I switched to scrubs). I finished dressing the girls and grabbed up their church diaper bags, took the casserole out of the oven (discovering that it hadn't been set level in the oven so it was quite deep on one end and quite shallow on the other... oh well!)

My very hot casserole in all it's leaning glory on our way to church! It's 9:02 & I was supposed to be at church at 9:00. We arrived at 9:35 and I ran the casserole in before dropping the girls off. 

Drop off was a blast, I was tired (duh) and therefore an air-head. I gave Ada's teacher her bag and talked to her about a lost lunch box and then walked off without giving her Ada. I realized after dropping Cora off in her room and went back to hand the child over. I spoke to one of the childcare teachers, Ms. Lauren, who is also my boss at the birth center about how things went the night before. I had been relieving her after she had worked a long hard, shift so it hadn't even been a birth I was on call for. Ran back out to the van (the church is quite large, so rather than walking from one building to another it's easier to drive - besides I had already hit my steps for the day!) and discovered that I didn't have my cell phone - quite the problem for an on-call birth worker. Went back in and found it in Cora's diaper bag.

I finally made it over to Bible Study at 9:57 - just in time to hear the last half of this week's speaker and to grab the last piece of my casserole!

Big group dismisses and we go to small group, which I managed to stay awake through! We have a freecycle table at our Bible study and everyone brings things they don't need anymore and we pick what we want and whatever is left is donated to various ministries sponsored through our church. I've gotten some amazing things at freecycle and take a lot of my stuff that we've out grown or are finished with up there. Today's find was this keurig! I was so excited, our coffee pot kicked the bucket a couple of months ago but buying a new one just hasn't been a priority.

I got home and made myself a cup of coffee in my new-to-me coffee pot and put the girls down for a nap, and I took a nap with them!

(excuse the giant pile of junk on my sewing table in the background)




Every birth worker has a different self care routine and way of handling our sleep-less and unpredictable lifestyle. I have found that after births, no matter how long they are it is best for me and my family if I just jump right back into our normal schedule as best as I can (assuming it doesn't look like I'm going to be called right back out). I try not to cancel things (though that does sometimes happen, especially if I'm too tired to safely drive) and I don't ever just go to sleep. It messes up my sleep patterns and I miss even more life with my family. My rule of thumb is to never nap longer than 3 hours and I prefer to only do 1.5 hours most of the time. This was a 3 hour nap kind of day! My girls don't normally nap that long, but if I am laying down with them they will. We all slept from 2 until 5!!

Lots of cuddles and hugs after waking up. We really didn't do much at all. They played with some blocks on my bedroom/office floor while I caught up on the insane number of calls/emails/texts I got during that nap.

When dinner time rolled around I was remembering that John wasn't coming home until after bed time, he was going with a friend to see Texas Tech play at TCU. There was no way I felt up to figuring something out for dinner so Tacos it was.

Then during dinner Ada somehow kicked my phone off the table and broke the screen. Fabulous.

On days like this I absolutely bribe my children when need be. They weren't interested in getting in the car, until I showed them M&M's (clearance after christmas & have been hanging out in the freezer at home)

Since we had driven into town I figured I would take the girls by my Dad's house. Since we had napped so late, I wanted the girls to stay up a little past their bed time or trying to put them down would be miserable.  We left his house to go back home at 9:10 pm

The girls fell asleep quickly. I laid in bed with them and worked on my doula business for a while. I had Rizzoli & Isles playing in the background, it's my current show to bing watch but Hulu makes me crazy with it's cruddy connections.

(Ada still sleeps in the fetal position, which I did until I was almost a teenager. I bet she would love it if I still swaddled her! She's also very opposed to pajamas, or pants... and shoes. She would love to run naked!)

After not very long I was good and exhausted. I texted John at 10:30 to see when he would be home then I went to sleep. I vaguely recall him waking me up to tell me he was home.

And that was a day in my life when I've attended an over night birth!

A couple of weeks ago I blogged about how I don't do it all - I accomplished a lot this day, but I didn't do any cleaning, no laundry, I barely picked up the toys that the kids drug out. We didn't do any homeschool lessons or crafts. I didn't do a quiet time. We survived and that was good enough for me! I'm still working on embracing the fact that I can't and won't do it all - and that's okay!

I'm really hoping to document a "normal" day at home with the girls soon! 

Life On Call

One of the biggest adjustments to life as a Birth worker has been life on call. I feel like our family has finally settled into our groove of things but it has undeniably been an adjustment for our friends and extended family too. 

A little bit of what my life looks like as a birth worker over the last 6 months 

(I'm sure there will be more fun tales in the future)...

Getting your doula clothes gathered and laid out because it's beginning to storm (storms really do bring babies!)

Answering text messages and calls at all hours of the day and night.

Keeping a well stocked snack stash in your doula bag, and car, and purse because you've skipped a meal (or three) while with clients.

Driving around with your doula bag and on call bag of clothes every place you go, just in case!

Asking for the check and a box at dinner as you're placing your order, because you know the odds of making it through the meal aren't great.

Taking two cars to church, or to my Dad's or to the store because your client is "warming up". 

Having friends and your sister-in-love "on call" to host a birthday party because your client is past her "guess date". 

Going to so many births back to back that you remember what you did on Monday but now it's Friday and you're just not sure what happened to the rest of the week. Honestly you're impressed when you know the day of the week! 

Waking every 30 minutes for an entire night because you know your client is in labor and it's just a matter of time until you get the call to come.

Being half way home from the grocery store with 2 asleep kids and a trunk full of frozen food when you get called in. 

Perfecting sleeping sitting up and feeling re-energized and ready to concur the world after a quick trip to the bathroom and washing your face after 15 hours of giving every ounce of yourself. 

It's saying "I know" and "you can do it" when it is the absolute truth but doesn't help the exhausted laboring woman. 

There isn't a single thing about this job that is 9-5, unless you count trying to jam all the back office work into typical office hours while being the best work-at-home mom I can be. 

Being a birth worker is more than a job, it's a lifestyle. 

It is exhilarating, exhausting, beautiful, unpredictable, hard, and bittersweet. 

Long Days, Short Years.

The saying is true. These days are long, so very long; but the years are short! I can hardly believe that my sweet baby is a year old and my big girl is almost three!

This year has been a bit crazy. Well, absolutely crazy.
To recap:
Ada was born at the end of July
at 2 weeks postpartum I started training to be a Birth Doula
at 4 weeks postpartum I started a new job teaching 2 days a week at a Mothers Day Out program the next town over
at 5 weeks postpartum we started suspecting that the limp Cora developed at 2 weeks postpartum was something more serious and she was later diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis.

Until almost December every time someone would ask how old Ada was I would respond 6 weeks old... because I felt like we were in survival mode 100% of the time. God is good, and I'm not complaining, that job was an answered prayer and it was a year of hard work in school but it's paying off now that I'm running my own business and I love it!

In February I finished my training as a Birth Doula and went to my Certification Workshop for a weekend (that weekend was a hoot - if it could go wrong it basically did!)

March through May I worked diligently on getting my business off the ground while still teaching two days a week. In May I had turned down 4 inquiries for doula clients because I couldn't be on call while teaching. I took a leap of faith, literally trusting God that this was His plan for us and said I would not be returning in the fall to teach.

In June I was really worried I'd made a big mistake by giving up my "day job" because I didn't have a single inquiry for doula services. God is good and he had a plan! I was contacted about training to be a Midwife Assistant at a local birth center. It's been a busy summer, I've learned more than I could ever imagine and as of today I have finished my training as a Midwife Assistant and I'm booked for doula clients through the New Year!

I really think the theme for the past 12 months is God is Good, God has a plan and trust God!!

I have really missed blogging. I think about it at least once a week but I just couldn't justify taking taking the time to sit down and write when so many things needed my attention. Life is still busy but I feel like we're coming out of survival mode and learning to live our new normal. Tonight I sat down on the couch and didn't know what to do with myself, I literally finished training as a MA this afternoon when I passed my skills check off for neonatal resuscitation and CPR so I don't have anything to study for the moment. So, blogging it is. I really hope I'm able to keep it up.

I'm glad to be back - how are you?!?

World Doula Week (& an Annoucement!)

I have been planning out this post and wanting to sit down and write it for days. Long story, but we haven't had internet and my laptop (temporarily) died at the hands of a particular 17 month old... so blogging, or really much of anything has been quite the challenge of late. I will update more on life soon, but I really want to talk about Doulas! 

With only hours to spare we are closing out World Doula Week.
Ironically enough, we hired our doula for Baby Lewis 2.0 this week too!

Since Cora's birth I have become passionate about women making informed decisions about pregnancy and birth. I don't believe that my choices are right for everyone, they are just that - choices. I do believe that every woman aught to know and understand her options and risks associated with any and every intervention they are considering!

A Doula can be instrumental in helping a pregnant family to know and understand their options.
Doula's are not just for those wishing for an unmedicated labor and birth!
Doulas support the birth you want!

Doula's help you deal with the unexpected!
the unexpected is just a reality during labor and birth! Change is almost constantly happening and it isn't at all a far fetched idea to have a care provider walk in and say that suddenly something has to change, they want to introduce a new technique, intervention, who knows what. You may or may not have read up on whatever your care provider is suggesting and what the risks may be. Your Doula however, this is what she does! She is around birth professionally, she is in your corner. She will help you translate all that medical-speak and help you make an informed decision about what is best for you and your baby!

Doula's help to keep Active Labor Progressing
(aka shorter labors!)
When I was in labor thing seemed to be progressing fine but I needed to keep my pelvis open for baby to continue descending and labor to progress at a good rate. Sure, I would have had a baby eventually regardless of the techniques we used but by keeping labor progressive we shortened labor! I wasn't interested in any of the positions that opened my pelvis because it made contractions so much more intense. My doula made a great suggestion on positioning that opened my pelvis and coping techniques so that I could not only handle the intensity but I was actually able to sleep between contractions! 

Doula's can help you have an unmedicated birth!
I have run into so many women who say something along the lines of "I really wish I could have an unmedicated birth but I just can't deal with the pain". Women who have unmedicated births aren't extraordinary. They are just like you and me! One of the big things that makes a difference is knowing how to cope and deal with the pain, and a doula is educated and can help with that exactly!


These are just a few things that doulas do!
I am so excited to announce that this fall (after baby Lewis 2.0 arrives & we settle into being a family of 4) I will start training to become a Doula!

I can't wait to share more about my journey to becoming a Doula!
I couldn't be more excited to start on this path of serving pregnant and laboring mommas!

Interviewing Potential Doulas

 Pregnancy tests from Cora... we had to be *sure*! 

When we were pregnant with Cora we interviewed one Doula who we hired to help us with the birth. Just from reading her website and the variety of her own personal birth experiences I knew that she was right for us as soon as I saw that we clicked personally at our first interview (she also came highly recommended by a friend from high school! I didn't just randomly find her online).

This time around we realized we weren't going to be able to work with her (this was seriously a really hard decision that had a lot of emotions involved!), she is now a Midwife and, rightfully so, her fee as a Doula rose to reflect her knowledge and education. It just wasn't in the budget since we were paying everything upfront and not using insurance this time. :(

We had come full circle back around to needing to hire a new Doula. The first time around, I literally printed out a generic online questionnaire. Some things we'd talk about more than others and went off on some great tangents that really let me get to know her, her style and her personality. If you're a first time parent or even if you're interviewing a doula for a subsequent birth there are a lot of great questions out there already, a quick Google search will help you!

This time around while those generic questions are certainly important, I had some really specific questions about their work and style of helping laboring moms that I wanted to ask. These were things that I wouldn't have known about myself if I hadn't gone through labor and delivery once before. I wanted to share the questions and reasons behind them and hopefully it can help someone out there!

□ Name:

□ Why did you become a Doula? Tell me about your birth experiences and birth philosophy.
(I don't think a woman necessarily has to have given birth or have a similar birth experience to what you're planning to be a great Doula, but her experiences will shape how she views birth.)
□ What certifications do you hold? How and where were you trained? Are you a member of any doula associations?
(Do some google searches, some certifications/associations require yearly renewals. The different certification and associations have different birth philosophies. I don't put much weight on this question but it's good to know)
□ How long have you been a doula? How many births have you attended as the primary Doula?
(I think 30-40 is a golden number for a doula with experience, but if you're doula shopping on a budget fewer births attended generally mean less expensive)
□ What additional training have you done since you became a certified doula?

□ What techniques will you use to help me through labor? What do you bring in your Doula Bag?

□ Do you use Essential Oils and Aromatherapy to assist in Labor? Favorite Oils?
(Essential Oils were really helpful in my last labor. I use them now but am not familiar with them enough to feel confident that I would have an oil on hand that would be useful for particular issues in labor or how to use the oil properly for my symptoms)
□ What is your favorite relief measure to use for a laboring mom? (Rebozo, Ball, massage, EO's, positioning...?)

□ What types of births have you attended? Any unique or difficult situations have you dealt with?

□ How will we communicate before the birth?

□ Are you available to answer questions before you go on-call for my birth outside of our prenatal appointments? If so, what form of communication do you prefer?

□ How do I get in touch when labor begins?

□ At how many weeks do you go on-call for my birth and how long after my due date do you stay on call? If I were to go into pre-term labor before that point would you be willing to join me?
(Some doulas don't go on call more than 2 weeks before your due date, you could be out of luck if you go into labor before that! Same rule can apply to going more than 2 weeks past your due date, some care providers will let you go past 42 weeks!)
□ When and where will you join me? Do you have a rule of thumb about how frequent/duration my contractions should be before you join me or would it be when I feel I need the support?

□ How do you want to be notified when I'm in labor? A heads up text/call when I think I'm in the early stages or would you rather just get the "I need you" call?

□ What if you are unavailable when I go into labor? Do you have backups? Can I meet them?

□ What is your policy if something unexpected arises, such as a really long labor or you have a personal emergency? 

□ Do you have any clients with due dates close to mine? How many births do you schedule per month?

□ Do you have any other commitments or black-out dates near my due date? What happens if I go into labor on one of those days?

□ What are some of your favorite ways to involve my husband in the labor and birth process?
(It is a myth that a doula replaces your partner! A doula should complement and help your partner support you!)
□ How do you work with the Midwives and assistants during birth? How do you view your role, as compared with theirs?

□ How long will you stay with me after labor? Do you offer nursing/lactation support during this time?

□ Have you worked with my Midwife or Birth Center before? What was the experience like?

□ What happens if I need a transfer or a c-section? Have you attended c-sections as a Doula?

□ Do you provide any postpartum services? If so, when do you start and how long do you stay on?

□ What is your fee and refund policy? What does it cover?
(What if they don't make it to your birth?)
□ May I review your contract?

Have you ever hired a Doula?

Any must ask questions you have for interviewing a Doula?