Saturday, May 10, 2014

My First Mothers Day

"A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person that makes leaning unnecessary." Dorothy Canfield Fisher quote

When my mom was diagnosed with cancer I was 18 years old. We knew that in her case it was a death sentance, it was simply a matter of when the Lord would call her Home. This quote really stuck with me during that time and I feel like now that I'm a mother, it is coming full circle.

When I was pregnant with Coralie, I had so many emotions going on at once. I was so excited but there is no doubt that I was scared and anxious as well. Everyone I knew that was becoming a mom still had their Mom to help with the transition into motherhood. John and I had several conversations that revolved around "she has her mom...".  I just didn't see how I could do it alone. Mind you I was never alone in my journey of motherhood, I of course had John and other family members, but I wanted my mommy.

With this being my first Mothers Day, I've been reflecting on the journey of motherhood so far and appreciating all my mom taught me during her time here with us. Motherhood hasn't been this giant daunting task that I once believed it to be. It isn't a walk in the park by any means, but I'm able to handle it much better than I expected I would. I'm so grateful that my Mom equipped me for life that I'm now able to stand on my own two feet, leaning optional. While leaning may be unnecessary, I'm able to choose when and who to lean on. This Mothers Day I'm grateful for the shoulder my Dad and John have offered me to lean on. I may not have my Mom here with us, but Cora is so blessed with such an amazing Daddy who loves her so much and such a caring Grandfather who would do anything for her. 

Motherhood doesn't look like what I envisioned it to when I was younger, I can't say it is better because I would love for my daughter to know my mother, but it's a new version of good.

If you too are a Motherless Daughter, I have found comrodery in a couple of other bloggers, check out these posts by Gayle and Terez!

1 comment:

  1. Happy first Mother's Day to you! This post was lovely.


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