Ada Mayme - Birth Story

Ada is 5 months old now and I have finally finished writing her birth story. It's long and involves birth and associated details (and images) so if that's not your thing, please skip this post!
If you'd like to read it, you can find Cora's birth story Parts 1, 2 and 3.

On Wednesday, July 22 at 10:41 pm Ada entered this world and made us the proud parents of two beautiful girls.

L&D Day

My estimated due date had been Saturday July 18 and much to my surprise there were next to no signs that Ada would be making her arrival any time soon. We saw Kathy, my Midwife, the day before my due date and she did a cervical check & swept my membranes. I was 4 cm, 40% effaced but at a -3 station. I wasn't having any useful contractions that would be effective at bringing Ada down, while I was grateful to not be experiencing prodromal labor like I had with Cora, it was frustrating that we weren't seeing any signs that my body was preparing for labor. Earlier that week I had come down with some nasty virus that gave me a high fever (for being 39 weeks pregnant) that I just couldn't kick so I spent a day in Labor & Delivery getting fluids and monitoring baby.





After that ordeal and the fact that Ada wasn't moving a bunch (passing kick counts, but she was always pretty mellow with her movements & my anterior placenta liked to hide them, plus running out of room...) Kathy scheduled me for a Non Stress Test on the following Tuesday (3 days past EDD).

My "guess date"

The weekend, my due date & Monday all came and went with no labor signs to speak of. John decided to work from home Tuesday to be with me for the NST and to hand hold as I planned to also have my membranes swept again, this time by the other Midwife, Holly, who according to Kathy has "magic fingers". Ada gave us a bit of a scare as she totally failed her first non stress test. We were pretty sure she was just asleep, but our best attempts to wake her with Holly pinching her foot, juice and crackers weren't working. Holly & Kathy stood over the NST tape with concerned looks & sent me out for a good lunch and to come back & try again. We found it hysterically amusing and ironic that two midwives who discourage sugary drinks like Gatorade told me I should drink a coke with lunch! After a nice burrito from Chipotle and the coke they really had to twist my arm over, Ada passed her 2nd NST with flying colors. At my cervical check I was found to be at 5 cm, 50% effaced, still -3 station but she could feel my bag of waters bulging. We did the sweep & they talked to me about making sure that I called as soon as I was in labor to give everyone time to get to the birth center since we were all 30 + minutes out. Holly was adamant that I'd go quickly once contractions started.

We went home grateful that Ada was healthy and we weren't faced with needing to induce and give up my natural out of hospital birth. That evening I had some contractions. They were "real" enough to justify timing them but I was pretty sure they were associated with the sweep from earlier that day & knew deep down it wasn't the real deal. I didn't bother to tell anyone other than John.

Wednesday rolled around and Cora was kind enough to let me sleep in a bit. The morning went by uneventfully. I had a few contractions, again like the night before they were real but not close together at all. Nothing out of the ordinary for being 40 + 4. After lunch, Cora and I laid down for a nap together on the couch. As I laid there I started doing a mental kick count but kept loosing track because her kicks were so far apart. I usually did kick counts at nap time since she was usually pretty active after lunch but I figured I'd just try again after I'd slept a bit.

After our nap we got up and Cora
played while I put away laundry and did a few chores. John called at 3:00 and said he was headed home early, that he was distracted and he'd just finish working at home that evening. At that point I had just had 2 or 3 back to back contractions that required my full attention and moaning helped focus so I was beginning to suspect that early labor was on the horizon. I kept with my tidying the house and put dinner in the crock pot (cheese ravioli) to keep my mind busy and was so glad John was going to beat traffic headed home. 

My Dad texted me at about 4:15 to suggest that I hang out at his house the next day. He was nervous that I was alone and an extra 15 minutes out from him if I went into labor when John was at work. I was sure enough that early labor had begun that I admitted the contractions to him. I didn't do that lightly as I didn't want to create any undue worry. At the same time I was getting really antsy for John to get home already (and I was really regretting asking him to stop & get me Gatorade before he got home). I called him but he didn't answer much to my displeasure, he was in the store purchasing my Gatorade and called right back, he was just a few minutes from home - thank goodness!

I hadn't been timing contractions up to this point but decided I should start so I could recognize any patterns to the waves. When John walked in the door I was leaning on the couch, moaning through a contraction as Cora danced around the living room in her diaper with a pair of pajamas on her head like a hat. I quickly drank one of the Gatorade John brought home and knew I needed to get in the shower. Between hydrating and the shower, I knew it would officially be the real deal if the contractions didn't stop. Just before getting in the shower I texted Sarah, my doula to let her know what was going on since she had the furthest drive into us and kiddos to make childcare arrangements for.

John worked on tidying the house and getting bags loaded in the car while I showered. The warm shower slowed my contractions but I was certainly in labor. After I got out I notified the rest of my birth team that I was in labor (6:15). I rode out a couple of contractions but they weren't bad at all. I was able to handle them on my own easily. We decided this would be a good time for John to take Cora to my Dad's house. I gave my baby hugs and kisses as John carried her out the door with promises that "when I see you again, Sissy will be here!".

John hadn't been gone long at all and my very next contraction was really hard. I was beginning to panic that I needed his support and round trip to my dads house is about 30 minutes. I called John & asked him to please hurry. Then I called my dad to make sure that he was waiting for John at the street so John could immediately come home. My next several contractions weren't nearly as bad, but I was glad to have John back. We spent about the next hour with me alternating labor positions standing and swaying or sitting on my birth ball while John finished up some stuff for the office.
(the picture of me above is eating dinner between contractions as I swayed on my birth ball)

In between contractions I was second guessing my labor and myself. I was handling most of them leaning over, hips swaying and quietly moaning. Occasionally I'd have one hard enough to ask John to help with double hip squeezes. It just didn't feel challenging enough. I don't know if it was just that I was better equipped this time around since I had done this once before, or if maybe my labor just wasn't as difficult? Maybe all that red raspberry leaf tea I had drank did its job in making my uterus strong? Whatever the reason, it left me feeling that I didn't need to go to the Birth Center yet, I was pretty sure I hadn't had hard enough contractions to dilate further but I knew my midwives were antsy about how quickly I'd progress, especially if my water broke. I was however worried about the drive to Inanna, the birth center, it's about 25 minutes away and I know from experience that riding in a car during labor is pretty awful.

I picked up my phone to text Kathy that we'd go ahead and come in and saw that she had just texted me at 7:10 saying she needed to go check on another laboring mom and to see how I was doing. I called her back and told her we were coming in but only because I was nervous about the drive & that she should have plenty of time to take care of the other mom. She said she'd call in Holly just to make sure all our bases were covered.  I told Sarah we were headed in & she said she'd see us there. I triple checked that we had everything off the last minute labor grab list, gathered up a pillow to hold on the drive, and a towel and absorbent pad to put in my seat just in case my water broke on the way. I wasn't in any particular hurry, I rode out a couple of contractions leaning on the hood of our car. John finally got me loaded in the van and away we went.

Just off our street I tried texting Kathy to let her know we were actually on our way. My brain was foggy and I couldn't remember if that had been clear in our phone conversation before. As I texted a contraction started and I somehow ended up calling her. Since she got to hear me work through a contraction on the phone she decided she better stay at the Birth Center and another midwife was sent to tend to the laboring mom two towns away (poor momma, throughout the night I'd occasionally hear Kathy on the phone getting updates from a nurse on her. Each time her response was "give it another hour then call me back and we'll see where she is" sounded like a less than fun labor!). On the drive I also texted Kaity, our birth photographer, letting her know we were headed in but to wait until I was checked to come. I was certain this was still going to take a while. 

I had maybe 3 contractions the whole way to the birth center and other than the one on the awful bumpy road that Kathy got to hear me work through, none of them were all that hard. I was beginning to second guess my decision to go in, just sure I was wasting everyone's time. At Inanna, Lauren, my birth assistant (who we know from church as she kept Cora in nursery) met me in the parking lot. She got me inside to Kathy while John got all our stuff inside. Kathy did a check and I was at 6 cm and 80% effaced so progress had been made but I was disappointed it wasn't more. I just wanted this all over with. Sarah arrived as Kathy went to track down a thermometer and to see if the birthing room was ready. Holly arrived somewhere in all of this too. Lauren came and took us into the birthing room and we started getting set up. Lauren put our frozen chicken & dumpling casserole in the oven for my post-birth meal. I told her I expected it to take about an hour and a half in the oven so we might want to wait. Everyone disagreed and thought it aught to go in then, they were all just sure this was going to be quick. There was even a discussion of getting something from a restaurant because the casserole may not be done in time (which I seriously doubted). 

John put on my labor playlist (Pandora's Praise & Worship station), Lauren was tending to her tasks and sang along quietly to the songs. While I went to the restroom, John and Sarah got the essential oil diffuser going (lavender & lemon). During all of this Lauren asked if I wanted her to fill the tub for a water birth. I told her that I'd likely want to labor in it some and definitely do an herbal bath after the birth but that I didn't plan on a water birth. If it happened okay, but my heart wasn't set on it, so she started the process of filling the huge bathtub.

I had contractions here and there but again, nothing all that awful. I'm not sure if they were getting longer/closer because John & I weren't timing them anymore but I didn't notice a progressive change. John would do hip squeezes in contractions, we'd slow dance. I spent a couple on the birth ball with Sarah massaging my back as I read over my birth affirmations on the bed in front of me.

Kathy had me squat through a few, which I found to be pretty uncomfortable, but of course that's because it made the contraction far more effective. She also told me she would break my water whenever I was ready. I discussed it with John and we knew it would speed things up, which I wanted but I also knew it would make my contractions more intense. We decided to give it 30 minutes, see where I was at & decide then. We kept at this for the next half hour. It was a very peaceful environment during contractions, I would chat and cut up with the birth team between contractions. I was content but really felt kind of like I was the watch pot everyone was waiting on to start boiling and I wanted the process to be over with already. 

The half hour passed quickly and about that time I had a couple of hard contractions back to back. John helped me to the bathroom. As I slowly scooted into the bathroom with John's help (I was finally having the frequent, hard contractions I'd been expecting), Kaity arrived and I gave her a quick hello. Movement triggered several more close together contractions. Labor was reaching my "hard" memories.

We left the bathroom and went to the bed. Kathy checked and I was at 7 cm and maybe 80% effaced (I don't remember exactly the effacement).

I didn't feel like I should be beyond that based on the work of my contractions but it's still frustrating to hear you aren't progressing quickly to the end of the process you so desperately want to be finished with. I was also nervous about whether or not Ada had passed meconium in her water as Cora had. If we were going to have potential complications from that I didn't want to find out at 10 cm like before. So, we broke my waters. No meconium!! During all of this I was rather annoyed with my hair on my neck, I suddenly remembered that I'd seen Sarah with her hair French braided and between contractions ask her if she could pull my hair back. We all had a big laugh that my hair is what I was thinking about at that moment. Breaking my waters didn't immediately change my dilation/effacement and I decided to get in the tub for a change of pace. 

Once in the tub I felt much more relaxed. Sarah braided my hair and John poured water over my belly in contractions. At Lauren's suggestion I moved to the other end of the tub to use the shower sprayer on my belly in contractions. That was so helpful!

We labored in the tub like this for what felt like forever. I was definitely in transition and my thoughts weren't bright and happy anymore. I knew what was coming. This was about to get a lot harder and then it would only be more and more difficulty until finally it was over. That was one of the big differences between my first and second labor. I knew what was happening, I feel like I almost knew too much making it harder to get out of my own head and deal with each contraction as it came. 

After a couple of particularly miserable contractions Kathy checked my progress. I can't remember if I asked her to check,or if she offered when she was checking heart tones but I wanted to know my progress. I was only at an 8. This is when birth became much of a mental game. I knew too much. I had too much "book knowledge" about birth. In my mind I was calculating that a rough estimate would be a centimeter per hour so I was thinking that I had another 2 hours of this hard labor. The old saying is true though. When you think you can't anymore, it's because you're right there at the finish line. In hindsight, I only had another 30 minutes or so of labor.

John and Sarah kept cool rags on my neck and forehead. My next few contractions I had to work really hard to hold it together emotionally. I wanted it over and all those painful contractions had only brought me to an 8. I wanted to cry out that I couldn't do this, but I knew I could. I wanted to quit, but the only way out of this is to go through this. I regained some emotional control and had John read me some of my birth affirmation cards while Sarah took over the water sprayer. This helped so much. Listening to him say words of Truth that I will come through this and it is just temporary were such restorative words. I would focus on the lyrics of the worship songs, thinking through them between contractions. I would ride the waves of contractions that we're getting longer and longer requiring multiple breaks to gather more breath to maintain my moan. My internal montra was the same as it had been with Cora's birth "Strength, God give me Strength".

 I told Kathy I was feeling "pushy" after a long contraction. Kathy gave me the go ahead to blow the baby down with practice pushes to help take the edge off the contractions. This helped the pain, giving each wave a tangible purpose that I could work with it. John joined me by sitting in the corner with his feet down in the tub giving me his hand to hold in the waves. It went on like this for several more contractions, I'm not sure exactly how many. I knew I was getting close based on what I felt and I could hear everyone moving and shifting around getting ready for delivery. In a contraction I had an overwhelming urge to push. I wanted to make sure they knew I was really pushing and I couldn't tell if they knew based on my moan. I made a rather loud announcement to the room in general that I was "Pushing!!". 

Kathy and Holly came to the tub, Holly was telling me to get into the pushing position they had told me about earlier when I got in the tub. I could feel the next contraction rising up in me as I began to move and really didn't want to move. I don't know if I told Holly "no" but I was sure thinking it. She reached over to me, grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me into position as the contraction began. I locked my feet into place grabbed John's arms and pushed with the wave.

As I pushed Holly exclaimed to Kathy that "she's coming!". Coming she was! The contraction ended and I could feel Ada retreating back so I flexed and held her in place waiting for the next wave. There was some chatter about making sure Kathy didn't fall in with me. The next wave came, Sarah reminded me to open my eyes. I used all my might and pushed her head out after a big rupture of fluids. One more push and she was here! Kathy caught her and pulled her right up onto my chest! Her time of birth was 10:41 pm.

I was beyond happy to have my baby here in my arms! I could hear John quietly crying behind me as I settled down In the water holding our baby. She was crying and everything was perfect!!

They draped warm towels over her and we were snuggling enjoying our first moments together. I'm not sure what all was going on in the room but I heard either Lauren or Holly say something about "oh, your placenta is coming already" with an obvious air of surprise. I looked down and sure enough the remaining water was quickly turning bright red. I knew from my doula training and first birth that this was a bit quick to already have my placenta come. 

They checked the cord, it had stopped pulsing and was white so it was clamped and John got to cut the cord. I passed Ada out of the tub to her Daddy's waiting arms and then was helped from the tub.

 There was a lot of blood coming already and I wasn't at all cold but from the moment I stood I began badly shaking (which was probably more hormonal than anything). They got me to the bed and John brought Ada to me to be skin to skin as he laid on the bed next to me. The placenta came quickly but it felt like I was birthing the placenta over and over again with waves of blood and clots gushing out of me. Holly, Kathy and Lauren were constantly working on me to get the bleeding to stop. Sarah stood at the foot of the bed handing my midwives supplies. 

Holly came up to my side and checked Ada's lungs, she was kind of grunting rather than that typical newborn cry. We suctioned from her mouth some and that let Ada cry out like they wanted.

Just a bit later Lauren came up to my side & explained that Holly needed to check me for clots or retained placenta. I have to say, this experience was worse than birth. This is the part I wish I had drugs for the pain. The hemorrhage sometimes indicates retained placenta but it was complete, I was passing some larger clots. Lauren was sweet and explained that Holly would need to put a couple of fingers inside me to check for those clots trying to prepare me for what was next. Well I'm here to tell you that she had those 2 fingers, plus her whole hand and a good bit of her arm in me clearing out clots. I'm so glad Lauren didn't exactly describe what was about to happen.

She cleared many clots but the bleeding wasn't stopping with the manual removal (while my fundus was being pressed on from the outside - a very hard physical massage of the top of my belly). They administered pitocin with an emergency shot to my thigh while Kathy got an IV going in my arm. They repeated the manual removal a couple more times (it's a bit fuzzy I'm not sure how many times this was done) and though I had now received two more doses of Pitocin through the IV my bleeding was still very concerning. I was given two doses of Cytotec which also failed at stopping the hemorrhage. Finally as a last resort before calling for emergency hospital transport a dose of oral Methergine did the trick. 

It's not a pretty picture, but John snapped this shot as they were working on me, I was not handling the pain very well (as you can see...). For the next several days the back of my head hurt from pushing it back into the headboard while they worked on me. I found it amusing to take stock of the sore muscles and random bruises I had acquired and compare them to the ones I got while birthing Cora. It's seriously a full body workout! 

I choose to birth naturally without drugs and only certain interventions but I believe Western medicine has a time & a place. I'm so grateful for the access to drugs we had as they certainly saved my life. It took three separate drugs and about an hour of constant care and treatment to get my bleeding to slow to an acceptable pace and I stayed on the methergine for the next 72 hours. I'm a prefect example of the emergencies that they're fully equipped to handle at birth centers! 

At 12:21 I went to the bathroom since I was finally stable and Kathy did Ada's newborn check.

Ada's birth was so different from Coralie's in so many ways! I loved birthing out of hospital and the freedom that allowed me. I loved going home a few hours after birth and sleeping in my own bed! Birth is such a beautiful and natural thing - I am so blessed to have the opportunity to bring my precious daughters into the world! 

The next morning with both my babies!

I've been asked if I would birth out of the hospital again and I plan to! I have always wanted a home birth but that won't be possible for me. We simply live too far from a hospital and it would just take too long to get an ambulance to us if we needed emergency transport. I absolutely will use a birth center again though and cannot imagine having a hospital birth again! Knowing that I'm a high risk for repeat hemorrhage we will balance some preventative measures that you would find in a hospital setting with some of the freedom of birth center. I'll choose to have a hep lock put into place as soon as I arrive at the birth center in labor so that if they need access for an IV the line is already established. We'll also do some homeopathic prevention during labor. I will drink some very concentrated Red Raspberry Leaf tea (and be religious about drinking it throughout pregnancy with more regularity than before) and there have been some studies that show that Dates are a natural hemorrhage preventative so they'll be a big part of my diet before and during labor.

Even with the complications, this was a beautiful day and I have no regrets. I look back on Cora's birth and have remorse about how certain things were handled under hospital policy. I seriously question whether a NICU stay would have been necessary at all had she been born out of hospital. With Ada's birth I'm confident that the interventions I received were warranted and done with consent. It was a much better birthing experience and I'm already looking forward to when the Lord blesses us with another and that baby's delivery!

Interviewing Potential Doulas

 Pregnancy tests from Cora... we had to be *sure*! 

When we were pregnant with Cora we interviewed one Doula who we hired to help us with the birth. Just from reading her website and the variety of her own personal birth experiences I knew that she was right for us as soon as I saw that we clicked personally at our first interview (she also came highly recommended by a friend from high school! I didn't just randomly find her online).

This time around we realized we weren't going to be able to work with her (this was seriously a really hard decision that had a lot of emotions involved!), she is now a Midwife and, rightfully so, her fee as a Doula rose to reflect her knowledge and education. It just wasn't in the budget since we were paying everything upfront and not using insurance this time. :(

We had come full circle back around to needing to hire a new Doula. The first time around, I literally printed out a generic online questionnaire. Some things we'd talk about more than others and went off on some great tangents that really let me get to know her, her style and her personality. If you're a first time parent or even if you're interviewing a doula for a subsequent birth there are a lot of great questions out there already, a quick Google search will help you!

This time around while those generic questions are certainly important, I had some really specific questions about their work and style of helping laboring moms that I wanted to ask. These were things that I wouldn't have known about myself if I hadn't gone through labor and delivery once before. I wanted to share the questions and reasons behind them and hopefully it can help someone out there!

□ Name:

□ Why did you become a Doula? Tell me about your birth experiences and birth philosophy.
(I don't think a woman necessarily has to have given birth or have a similar birth experience to what you're planning to be a great Doula, but her experiences will shape how she views birth.)
□ What certifications do you hold? How and where were you trained? Are you a member of any doula associations?
(Do some google searches, some certifications/associations require yearly renewals. The different certification and associations have different birth philosophies. I don't put much weight on this question but it's good to know)
□ How long have you been a doula? How many births have you attended as the primary Doula?
(I think 30-40 is a golden number for a doula with experience, but if you're doula shopping on a budget fewer births attended generally mean less expensive)
□ What additional training have you done since you became a certified doula?

□ What techniques will you use to help me through labor? What do you bring in your Doula Bag?

□ Do you use Essential Oils and Aromatherapy to assist in Labor? Favorite Oils?
(Essential Oils were really helpful in my last labor. I use them now but am not familiar with them enough to feel confident that I would have an oil on hand that would be useful for particular issues in labor or how to use the oil properly for my symptoms)
□ What is your favorite relief measure to use for a laboring mom? (Rebozo, Ball, massage, EO's, positioning...?)

□ What types of births have you attended? Any unique or difficult situations have you dealt with?

□ How will we communicate before the birth?

□ Are you available to answer questions before you go on-call for my birth outside of our prenatal appointments? If so, what form of communication do you prefer?

□ How do I get in touch when labor begins?

□ At how many weeks do you go on-call for my birth and how long after my due date do you stay on call? If I were to go into pre-term labor before that point would you be willing to join me?
(Some doulas don't go on call more than 2 weeks before your due date, you could be out of luck if you go into labor before that! Same rule can apply to going more than 2 weeks past your due date, some care providers will let you go past 42 weeks!)
□ When and where will you join me? Do you have a rule of thumb about how frequent/duration my contractions should be before you join me or would it be when I feel I need the support?

□ How do you want to be notified when I'm in labor? A heads up text/call when I think I'm in the early stages or would you rather just get the "I need you" call?

□ What if you are unavailable when I go into labor? Do you have backups? Can I meet them?

□ What is your policy if something unexpected arises, such as a really long labor or you have a personal emergency? 

□ Do you have any clients with due dates close to mine? How many births do you schedule per month?

□ Do you have any other commitments or black-out dates near my due date? What happens if I go into labor on one of those days?

□ What are some of your favorite ways to involve my husband in the labor and birth process?
(It is a myth that a doula replaces your partner! A doula should complement and help your partner support you!)
□ How do you work with the Midwives and assistants during birth? How do you view your role, as compared with theirs?

□ How long will you stay with me after labor? Do you offer nursing/lactation support during this time?

□ Have you worked with my Midwife or Birth Center before? What was the experience like?

□ What happens if I need a transfer or a c-section? Have you attended c-sections as a Doula?

□ Do you provide any postpartum services? If so, when do you start and how long do you stay on?

□ What is your fee and refund policy? What does it cover?
(What if they don't make it to your birth?)
□ May I review your contract?

Have you ever hired a Doula?

Any must ask questions you have for interviewing a Doula?

Looking Back: Expectations vs Reality of Natural Birth in a Hospital

Looking back at my Natural Birth and Birth Plan, I'm very happy over all with everything and the outcome. When Susan, our Doula, met with me at 2 weeks postpartum she asked if I'd do a natural birth again? Without hesitation I replied "yes!".

Honestly, the day Baby Girl was born I was ready to do it again! Not in that moment, mind you. I was certainly still recovering but the effort was absolutely worth it and having a sweet baby in your arms at the end is the best prize in the world!  (Fair warning - if you're squeemish, this post probably isn't for you.)

Several things about the whole process of birth surprised me. In all honesty I was pretty delusional about what I would be like and what I would want in my labor/birth. Some of the things I packed for my Labor & Delivery bag for the hospital not only went unused, they were downright ridiculous when it came down to it. If I hadn't started the process at 4 cm dilated and had spent those first hours laboring 1-4 cm they may have been useful then, but by the time you're making it to 5-7 cm things like a head massager, gum, sleep eye mask, neck pillow, music & headphones to name a few were totally useless. I was glad however that I had packed multiple bags, I had a bag for L&D, a bag for postpartum that included clothes for John and a separate bag for Cora's things. This cut down on how much junk had to be drug into the hospital in the middle of labor and how much unnecessary stuff had to be in the postpartum hospital room.

I always imagined that we'd have these cute snap shots of us parking and walking into the hospital to deliver our daughter... umm no. The idea of stopping to take a picture on our way in the door of the hospital was idiotic (mind you I was at 7 cm)! My goal was to not have a contraction between the door of the van & making it to L&D. Surprisingly enough I made it! After my last contraction in the parking lot my next one was in front of the nurses asking idiotic questions at the L&D desk.

Speaking of idiotic questions, I have no clue why I had to fill out so much paperwork in pre-registration for the hospital because they ask SO many redundant questions that they should have on file. Annoying yes, but when they're asking questions and looking at you for responses when all your thought process can contain is how to breathe through the contraction and embrace the intensity it officially becomes idiotic! I highly recommend you have your husband in the room for these idiotic questions, despite all the paperwork I filled out they had me down as being RH negative (I'm not, they had the wrong blood type on file!). In the middle of contractions I was trying to tell them that yes I am "positive that my blood type is AB+", I even had John dig my Red Cross blood donation card out of my wallet and show it to them with my blood type. That was the only big mistake in all of that, everything else was small - they thought John's name was Mark or some other wrong name and their file showed that this was my 2nd child.

I'm such a vocal person. Sitting in a room and to not participate in an ongoing conversation is just not me at all. When I was in labor, I would hear the whispers between Susan and John or one of them and my nurse, Jessica. Several times I had some quip or comment that was just ready to come bubbling out of my mouth but each and every time I did speak it took such effort to leave my "quiet place" inside my mind I found myself resisting the instinct to speak more often than not. I was amazed at how unimportant the things outside my quiet place became to me. I was able to let go and simply exist from contraction to contraction. 

When we watched videos of labors I was mortified by the groans & moans I was hearing. I could not imagine sitting there and listening to myself moan through contractions for hours upon hours. I created this fantastic playlist with songs I knew well, uplifting Spiritual songs that I grew up with. I imagined myself thinking through the lyrics so I wouldn't focus on hearing myself moan. Reality - moaning wasn't really a reaction to pain, it was a way to work through the contraction. To emotionally work with my body as it labored. When I was in labor the quiet allowed me to completely concentrate on what was going on and to rest between contractions. Susan suggested music, remembering that I had expressed this concern in one of our prenatal visits, I declined the offer and recessed back into my own little quiet world.

I'm usually a pretty modest person. Everyone told me that by the time I'm about to deliver that I wouldn't care about my modesty anymore. I didn't really believe them and the very small part of me that really considered what they were saying to be true thought that while I may not care about my dignity and modesty at that moment, I would regret it later on and wish I had insisted on it in labor. I was wrong about this too.
I have a story about that...

When I was 34 weeks pregnant I made a trip to L&D for what I thought was preterm labor with Braxton Hicks and broken waters. Turns out I just peed my pants... but I was horribly mortified at the lack of modesty forced on me by the on call doctor which shaped most of my expectations for labor. Making a long story short, nurse came in told me I was good to get dressed again. I changed clothes back into my jeans, OB on call comes in and wants to do a cervical exam just to be sure no dilation etc, I pull my pants off under the covers on the bed assuming she'll just pull them up creating a little tent of sorts protecting my modesty (I mean after all, I went to all that effort to take my pants off under the covers!). Nope, OB yanks the covers off, I'm sitting there stark naked from the waist down with a nurse, head nurse, a random someone I have no clue who she was that wandered into my room during this experience and a sono tech all watching and chatting away during my exam. I was really ticked off and marched myself into my Midwifes office at my next appointment insisting that I would wear my own clothes to labor/deliver & that was that. So now that you have some back story, back to what reality looked like in L&D...

When I arrived at the hospital in labor & the nurse (who hadn't yet read my birth plan) asked me to change into the hospital gown, I considered refusing but then the idea of possibly having to change later (when I was about to push per hospital policy) was so daunting I just agreed. Sure enough, hospital gowns are awful for modesty. My tooshy was showing to the entire world and I couldn't give a darn! My sweet nurse tried to keep it covered for me, but generally (in my mind, never verbalized) I'd rather her leave my toosh exposed because she was distracting me as she'd cover it. I delivered with my toosh hanging out facing the direction of the oh, roughly 20 people that flooded my room to watch "the lady that's doing it without meds" and nursery staff and I just didn't give a darn (and still don't today). In fact, my modesty was gone through that whole hospital stay, I am woefully lacking in pictures that I'm comfortable publishing here on the blog from the hospital stay because in most of them I'm topless! I couldn't figure out how to move my shirt out of the way to breastfeed and I had all these nurses and LC's helping, so shirtless was just easiest when it came time to feed.

Poop. It seems like every pregnant momma worries about pooping in delivery. While pregnant I really didn't give it much thought. On the occasion that it came up I just figured there's nothing you can do about it so why worry, I'd just deal with it if it happened. Well it did! In my quiet mental place I slightly cared, but not all that much. It started as I squatted bedside working to shift Cora's head to fix a lip of cervix that hadn't moved out of the way after they broke my waters. I used the energy to mention that "I feel like I'm going to poop", my nurse was very sweet about it and said that it's baby's head moving down that I was feeling but didn't confirm that yes indeed I was pooping on the floor. From John's account by the time I said this, I had already started (and pooped on his foot as he squatted behind me) and not two minutes later her head crowned & I experienced the ring of fire (about the only time I screamed out in labor, not as much from pain {though it burned like a not-so-nice word!} but from surprise!). (Details of that whole episode are in my Birth Story Part 3) If you're worried about this too, check out this article! They discuss how poop is normal & a good sign in labor - it's item #1 on the list!

Being a first time parent is like walking off a ledge into a pit of darkness... Okay so that's probably a bit dramatic, but you really don't know what to expect. Even though I'd planned out what I thought to be every single detail of my natural hospital birth and what I did and didn't want in newborn procedures etc, we were still completely blind-sided when Cora developed respiratory problems after birth. You never can be 100% prepared for everything. Now that I've done this once there are still things I'm unsure about for our second time around! For our second child we're planning to deliver at a Birth Center and I wonder how the different location will change my experiences in labor. Although we can't predict the future, I hope that this post will help you if you're planning an unmediated birth in a hospital! Please feel free to ask any questions!

Baby Girl's Birth Story (Part 3)

 

To catch up, part 1 and part 2

Susan and I made it to Labor and Delivery (after a quick confusing detour into the wrong hallway) and got me checked in.  Then nurses asked a series of annoying questions that I fail to understand the necessity of. (WHY did I preregister if you're just going to ask all this junk again??) This was all before they moved me into a room. During this time, I rode out a contraction and spent so much energy trying to breathe and not groan loudly, worrying about disturbing any others on the floor. In retrospect, if I had groaned, maybe they would have picked up the pace!

Just after getting into the room I had my next contraction as I tried to step out of the wheelchair and move to the bed. Right in the middle of loudly moaning through the contraction was when Kathy, my midwife came into the room. She praised my labor progression and instructed me to get into a gown. I considered asking to stick to my birth plan and continue laboring in my own clothes, but by this time I didn't care about the immodest hospital gowns. John met us in the room and helped me change in the restroom and then get into the bed.

I was coming into the hospital at shift change so my first nurse started everything, I can't even remember her name, then Jessica joined us and stayed through the rest of day. They wanted 20 minutes of monitored contractions so they had a baseline to if we needed continuous fetal monitoring later, so into bed I went. As I laid in bed Jessica, the other nurse and the head nurse asked me various questions. I was really struggling to deal with the contractions at this point, laying in bed was not helping anything and the fetal monitor pushing on my belly during contractions was painful. Kathy came in and saved the day! She was less than impressed that I was told I had to be in bed for this monitoring and Kathy set them straight that they are perfectly capable of running the tape with me out of the bed. After Kathy checked to see how dialated I was (7 cm!!), we were just about finished with the 20 minute requirement and at Susan's suggestion, we moved back into the bathroom.

I feel like we were in the bathroom for five minutes, but John assures me that it was at least an hour. At this point, Holli, the other Midwife came on shift and wanted to check how I had progressed since Kathy had left. I slowly made my way to the bed (can I just say that moving in contractions is no bueno!), I was at 10 cm and almost fully efaced!!

Holli worked with me on how to push and wanted me to do a few "practice pushes". I remember her telling me to "blow the baby out", encouraging me to use breathing to push down rather than yelling and wasting energy. During these practice pushes, my water broke but it really wasn't much. Unfortunatly they were pretty sure that it was myconium stained. Under hospital policy, Holli had to break the water a little more so they could be sure whether or not Cora had passed myconium in the water. This was something I didn't want but couldn't avoid. The exact reason I didn't want my water broken was the effect we found - Coras head shifted slightly as the water flowed out and now I had a lip of cervix that wasn't fully effaced.

Technically, I could have worked hard, pushed forever and gotten the baby out then with someone pushing that "lip" aside. BUT Holli is awesome and gave us some time to get the babys head moved back center and clear up that effacement issue. I say that she's awesome now, but I was so very disappointed when I knew I was fully dialated and she announced that she was going back to the office to see "a patient or two". I couldn't believe that she had time to see patients before I had a baby!

Susan & Cora

This is when I will forever be grateful for having an amazing Doula! Susan, being well educated in birth and understanding all the mumbo jumbo Holli was saying about how Cora's head shifted got me out of bed to shift the baby back to center! {I'd also like to point out that as great as my nurse, Jessica, was - she didn't understand what Holli was saying, she would have been no help to us in getting Cora's head straightened out} Since we knew my water was miconium stained, I had to have constant fetal monitoring (hospital policy), but the straps were just hurting so badly, so Jessica, my awesome nurse stood with me and held them in place as I lunged and squated for the next while. I was terrified my legs wouldn't support me as I squatted so John squatted right behind me holding me steady while Susan held the other end of Robozo across the bed from me. We were this way for about four contractions, until I started feeling Cora crown.

Susan started asking me questions about what I was feeling, I knew the baby was coming but I had trouble vocalizing that between contractions. As I squatted I was bearing down and Susan had noticed but Jessica didn't realize how close we were. Jessica checked and said I had a quarter size amount of baby's head showing and at her insistence we moved back into the bed. Susan suggested we call Holli back but Jessica thought we had more time to "labor down".

The thing about natural labor is, your body pushes that baby and the only way I found to cope with that intensity is to push and help that natural laboring of pushing the baby down and out. Once up in that bed I got on my side and started pushing. The room quickly filled with tons of hospital staff! I had okay-ed some nurses observing (later we learned they wanted to watch because they hadn't seen a natural birth before), plus Nursery staff that was doubled by the concerns about the myconium stains in the amniotic water. As I pushed I was encouraged to not push, to wait for the midwife to get there. About the third announcement of "wait" I yelled at no one in particular that I couldn't. All the while I laid there knowing full well that everyone in that room was trained to catch, I knew that if no one else stepped up Susan could catch the baby. I wasn't going to not push just because my midwife wasn't called in time. At some point they grabbed the on-call OB, she gowned up and stood at the ready incase Holli didn't make it in time.

When Holli arrived there was a giant sigh of relief in the room, She tossed her coat one direction while stepping into a gown being held open by a nurse. Two more pushes or so and we had our baby girl!!

When Cora was born she wasn't crying, this is somewhat common with natural born babies as I understand it. That compounded with the myconium stained fluid and the nursery staff insisted that the cord be cut immediately. They whisked her over to the warmer and started suctioning fluid from her mouth. John joined them while I finished up delivery. After they cleaned her up and worked on her for a while I got to hold her skin-to-skin for just a moment, long enough for Susan to snap a few pictures and then they whisked her off to the NICU.

Cora & Kathy

Turns out that Cora had TTN (transient tachypnea of the newborn) and had to spend some time in the NICU. Her first Apgar was a 6, second one was an 8. She improved greatly in the first 7 hours and was weaned off oxygen by just over 24 hours. Antibiotics were administered as a precaution for infection from the Myconium but all cultures came back negative for infection. I was ready for discharge at 24 hours after birth but stayed in-patient an extra day to make it easier to be with our daughter. Cora was discharged from the hospital four days after birth.

I loved my birthing experience, not so much right in the trenches of it - but coming out on the other side I knew within hours of being finished that not only could I do it again, I'm excited for it! I found birthing empowering and beautiful. All the major points of our birth plan were followed up until the complications surrounding Cora once she was born and none of those complications were as a result of birth. Looking back there are very few things we would change that are in our control. Doing it again I will for-sure hire a birth photographer!! I'm so sad we don't have more pictures of everything! I wouldn't change anything in our birth plan and really the only big thing that we would do differently is possibly the location of our birth. I'm seriously contemplating using a Birthing Center for our next child! I'm just sad that we would have to change midwifes for a different facility.

Coralie

8 lbs, 12 ounces

20 inches

Baby Girl's Birth Story (Part 2)

{See Part 1 Here}

I rode out several contractions in the tub, until the water began to grow cold. I knew that I could always get back in the tub later, as long as my water was intact, so we decided I'd get out and maybe walk around the house. We talked about a possible walk around the neighborhood, but it was cold & the middle of the night. My contractions were lasting roughly a minute each and were mostly four minutes apart, but weren't terribly consistent. John was still a little on the edge of believing that I was really in labor, he kept looking for a more set pattern in the time of my contractions. I knew I was in true labor (finally!) but was also aware that it could be a long haul before our daughter was born. I took a shower, knowing that it could be quite a while before I had the opportunity for another one.

Out of the tub the contractions were much more intense but reduced in time to about 30 seconds each. I was frustrated but was still certain this was it. The intensity was making me nervous about when we should go to the hospital and we wanted to labor at home as long as possible, ideally until I was dilated to a 6 or a 7. Susan, our Doula lives in Fort Worth, which is about an hour drive from our house so we decided to go ahead and call her to give her time to get to us. I called her at 2:47 am, while I was on the phone I had another contraction and was able to ride it out with deep breaths. Susan agreed that I was in early active labor and that she would go ahead and come our way.

The next little while I spent time between contractions stacking our last minute items for the hospital next to the door, making the bed etc. Our room is always warmer than the rest of the house and I was getting too hot so we moved to the living room. We let our dogs come into the house and sit with us in the living room. I just found something nice about having a "normal" family moment in the middle of this experience.

Once settled into the living room, I was under the delusion that sitting on my exercise ball would help me get through some of these contractions. Boy was I wrong! I loved it in false labor, but now that it was the real deal I could have drop kicked the darn ball down the street! (In retrospect, it was because it opened up my pelvis and made the contractions more intense - a good thing but I wasn't prepared for it!)

I knew I needed to be resting through contractions but I couldn't get comfortable anywhere. Finally I found that I could close my eyes and relax in the rocking chair, but sitting through a contraction was painful for me. Each time I had a contraction I would stand up as it began, which made it easier to handle but the movement itself was so painful! I was wearing out quickly and knew I was at a point that I needed Susan to get there. During one of these transitions from chair to standing, I yelled loudly in pain - that was the point John recalls knowing we were really in labor and going to have a baby. (Looking back, this is the only time I would say I was in "pain" during labor. Honestly the majority of the time the physical feelings were "intense" but so different from any other discomfort I had felt at any other time in my life) At some point during my time in the rocking chair, I threw up. I knew that vomiting was just part of labor but it was certainly less than fun heaving during a contraction.

When Susan arrived just before 4 am, I was loudly moaning through each contraction just to cope and I was quickly getting discouraged with our natural approach. I hadn't pulled out the "I can't" words yet, but I had them ready to go if whatever Susan was going to do didn't work. Just after walking in the door, I told her what was going on & where we were at in the process between contractions. She told me she hated the exercise ball in her labors too & that moving in a contraction always makes them worse in real labor - that movement brings on contractions. (WHY is this not common knowledge?!?) The first contraction she watched me in she recognized that I was tensing up in anticipation of the intensity. She gently reminded me to relax, and like a miracle when I encouraged my muscles to release the tension in a contraction, the intensity was much more manageable!

Susan set up her diffuser (Lavender & Geranium) and it was like the best medicine ever! It was so easy to relax my muscles through the contractions and I rode them out in the rocker for a while. At some point I stood through a few of them and Susan taught John how to do hip squeezes. Hip squeezes = amazing! It was so special that John was able to help me through each contraction in such a 'hands on' kind of way.

Susan suggested moving to the bathroom and sitting backwards on the toilet. She explained that it would make the contractions more intense because it would open up my pelvis and help labor along, but it would give me the wall and back of the toilet to relax on between contractions and John would have access to do hip squeezes. I agreed and it was the best idea ever. The time I spent on the toilet (both at home and later at the hospital) were honestly the easiest and best periods of labor! I was able to doze off laying on a pillow propped up on the tank of the toilet. It was quiet, dark and calming with the diffuser sitting just a couple of feet away on the sink. Between each contraction I would close my eyes and silently pray for strength "Strength, Jesus, Strength" as I drifted off until the next contraction.

Somewhere around 5:15 am I knew I was getting close to Transition in labor & Susan did too. We knew that it was time to get me to the hospital before contractions were too close or intense to make the move. I was dreading the 25 minute drive to the hospital, but we wanted to make sure we had plenty of time for the drive, I really didn't want a home birth (nor were we prepared for one) and I sure didn't want to deliver on the side of the road! At 5:35 am John called Kathy, our Midwife and told her my contractions were just over a minute long each with three minutes between and had been going on like this for roughly two hours. Kathy instructed to come on into the hospital we planned to deliver at and she'd meet us there.

I've never wanted a home birth, but it was beyond less than fun moving to the hospital this far into labor. I went to the restroom while John threw the last of our stuff into the van & made sure the dogs were good for the night and into the next day. Susan tied her Robozo around my hips nice and tight to help keep pressure there during the car ride and suggested sitting on the floor of the van and leaning into a seat. I rode out one more contraction in our living room, I remember being very aware that our neighbors were about to be leaving for work and I didn't want to be the crazy moaning lady in my front yard! After the contraction John got me situated in the back of the van & we headed off to the hospital with Susan following. The 20 minute ride to the hospital was honestly pretty uncomfortable. I was much less successful at relaxing during each contraction, I'd read that transitioning from home to the hospital can result in a regression of labor. Thinking about or my nagging worry that we'd get pulled over & I'd get a seat belt ticket sure wasn't helping the relaxation much! At some point, about half way through the drive I shifted and caught a whiff of the lingering essential oils from my hair and was able to relax and resist yelling & scaring the poo out of John for the rest of the drive in.

Once at the hospital, John dropped me off at the entrance to the ER while Susan parked & grabbed a wheel chair to take me up to Labor & Delivery.

{Part 3}

Baby Girl's Birth Story (Part 1)

The last couple of weeks of pregnancy were less than fun for me, particularly because of all the contractions. We were also trying to do everything we could to naturally induce labor so I could get in the hospital we'd pre-registered at and have our Midwife or her backup deliver our daughter.

Friday 10/18, I took the day off work & went into the Midwife's office and had her sweep my membranes. I'd had the procedure before and each time it would result in some serious contractions that would last for hours. When I had been in her office the previous Wednesday, I was dilated to a 3, she said it was almost a 4. We were so hopeful that this last ditch effort Sweep would push me over the edge into active labor. After the sweep (at which I measured an easy 4, on my way to 5), I went and walked store after store and made my way over to the mall & walked the mall for a couple of hours trying to help the contractions along (it was raining). Unfortunately, my contractions never set up into a pattern. I'd had more intense contractions after the previous sweep, I was so disappointed. I spent the rest of the day Friday at home cleaning house and the rest of the weekend John and I just spent time together at home getting ready for the arrival of our Baby Girl.

Sunday (10/20) evening came & we had plans to go to some friends house for dinner (Brisket & fixings - yum! I ate a ton, which was very unusual for me to have an appetite). I hadn't really had any contractions all day, just one or two here & there. After dinner Momma Betty, Kim & I went for a walk around their farm talking about some of my concerns & nerves about becoming a mother. At the end of the walk, Betty prayed for the baby & I and some of my worries.

When John & I got home that night we watched TV & just hung out enjoying the time together. We talked about how we were worried that I'd be like my Mom & labor wouldn't progress the rest of the way naturally & we'd have to end up inducing. I was so frustrated that we were starting another work week and had "wasted" a weekend without going into labor. I was feeling really down that I was struggling to be productive at work because I was so uncomfortable and there would just be yet another wasted week in the office.

Neither of us was very tired but knew that we had to get some rest because Monday morning was quickly approaching. 11:30 or so I got up and gave John two Tylenol PM & I took one myself and we laid down to sleep. At midnight, like clockwork I had a contraction, the first in hours. I was so mad! I always had bouts of false labor throughout the night and I was just sure this was another repeat of every other night from the past few weeks. I breathed through the contraction & did my best to not disturb John. After several contractions I knew that they were much harder and just felt so different than what I'd previously experienced. To get through them I was groaning and John wasn't getting any rest.

I got out of bed and got in the bathtub to see if the hot water would calm them down so we could get some rest. Roughly two contractions into being in the tub I just knew it was real, that our baby girl was on the way! I called out to John and for about the next hour he poured water over my belly through the contractions and timed them starting at 12:50 am. With dark humor we realized we were probably in for a very long night and we'd both just taken Tylenol PM.

{Part 2}