Breastfeeding Diaries Guest Post

When pregnant with Cora, I was absolutely determined to give breastfeeding my all! Before she was born, I insisted that no formula be in the house. If I was going to give her a bottle of formula, I wanted to think about it and be sure in my decision all the way to the store. I won't lie, most of my determination was based out of being cheap! I really didn't want to add the cost of formula to our budget. All in all, we had a very successful breastfeeding journey but it certainly wasn't picture perfect, especially at first.

Read more over on on Julie's blog, The Girl in the Red Shoes where I'm guest posting for her series Breastfeeding Diaries!

A year of Breastfeeding

Cora's first birthday marked a whole year of firsts. Our first child, a year of parenting, of being a mom and putting someone ahead of me 100% of the time. It was also a whole year of breastfeeding. 

When Cora was born, I knew that we were going to make breastfeeding work for us! I was not naive of potential problems and challenges with breastfeeding, but I choose to not focus on that. I was going to power through and if I was going to stop breastfeeding, it would not be for a lack of trying every other option to make breastfeeding work first.

nursing at 8 months old

I was initially so determined for breastfeeding to work that I wouldn't allow formula in the house before Cora was born. I told everyone that if I was going to give a bottle of formula, I didn't want it to be easy or a rash decision. I wanted the whole drive to the store to get formula to think about whether or not I was going to quit.

Originally we planned to breast feed until 6 months. When we were first starting out that seemed like such a daunting goal! I would give myself pep talks late at night when I was so weary with it all that we could quit at 3 months if I wanted to. 3 months became 4, 4 became 5 and before I knew it we made it to the 6 month mark and introduced solids (making my job a lot easier)! The second half of the year has been much easier than the first. 

Our breastfeeding journey has been a huge blessing. We have been fortunate that many problems that so many breastfeeding mothers face we have managed to avoid (so far). 

Although by many standards our breastfeeding experience has been without complication, there have been ups and downs. Even without extra difficulties, breastfeeding has been one of the very hardest things I've ever done emotionally. When we started out my concerns were clogged ducts, mastitis, cracked & bleeding nipples. I had no idea that the ideal situation would still be hard...

...For 365 days, one day did not pass that I was not solely responsible for providing my child with nutrition.

... breastfeeding meant that I did every. single. bed time. 

(except the two times my Dad kept her overnight and once that we had a babysitter = 362 bedtimes) 

... there were so many times where Dad wouldn't do the trick, Grandpa wouldn't do the trick, the only person who could soothe or calm the crying baby is Momma. Meaning Momma has to drop everything to sit down and nurse (at least 30 minutes when she was younger).

We got off to a rocky start. When Cora was born there were some issues. For the first day of her life, I only got to hold my child for less than one minute (heartbreaking). We weren't able to try breastfeeding until after she was 24 hours old and even then I was only allowed to hold her for a few minutes at a time, a few times a day. Even with a Lactation Consultant and great, helpful nurses standing right there to help, getting her to latch and suck was hard and time consuming.They only allowed 30 minutes of contact & stimulation for her so in that small amount of time we had to try nursing on both sides then do a syringe feeding with whatever colostrum/milk I was able to pump and then formula as a doctor-ordered supplemental feeding.

When we were in the hospital I wanted to quit so badly. I was exhausted. Each feeding we'd walk down to NICU (which took about all the energy I had), use the 30 minutes we had allotted to us to handle our daughter to get in a diaper change, attempt nursing, do a syringe feeding and get her back in her isolation bassinet. Walk back to the room (moaning, nearly in tears from pain/exhaustion) and then spend at least another 30 minutes of a pump session, then clean the pump parts, send John down to NICU with the milk I was able to pump for the refrigerator. I might get a 30 minute nap or entertain guests that stopped by the hospital or scarf down a quick meal and then it was time to start the cycle all over again. 

Nursing was finally clicking for us until the first night we got to have Cora room-in with us out of NICU. I couldn't get her to latch at all. She was screaming, I was an emotional wreck. There wasn't an LC at the hospital at night to help. It was a long night until we were the first stop on the LC's rounds the next morning. Turns out she'd been getting too much passifier time in NICU (never mind my no-artificial nipple request). The LC taught us how to do some suck training and got her latched for the first time in hours. Now suddenly the latching hurt, it hurt toe-curling bad! Poor Cora had lost that instinctual suck she was born with and we were working so hard to reteach it to her.

Poor Cora was also crying constantly. I'd nurse her and then do a syringe feeding of whatever I'd pumped and then do the required formula syringe supplemental feeding and it just didn't ever seem to be enough. So I'd do it all again just to have her cry some more. Finally at my whits end I called the nursery nurse that I had clicked with in NICU. I explained what was happening, that she just couldn't seem to get full so she pulled Cora's feeding log from the night before (when the passi had been administered and all these problems started). The feeding that I had been encouraged to skip trying to nurse (because I was "over stimulating" my daughter with failed attempts at nursing/latching) she had been syringe fed 4 ounces of formula. 4 ounces! Her stomach should only have a capacity of about 1 ounce at her age!! Her poor tummy was stretched and she just couldn't feel full with breast milk that digested so much quicker than that formula.

The next day the LC stopped by to check on us again. We had gotten the all clear to go home from everyone else, we were just hanging out waiting to see our amazing Lactation Consultant. She watched Cora nurse, we were still struggling pretty badly. She recommended a nipple guard to help with the latch pain & to help Cora to latch properly. She warned not to use it for long and to always try to latch without it first. She also worked out an increased formula supplement schedule to wean her back down to the prescribed amount of formula. She explained that in a day or so Cora would have forgotten the "full" feeling that formula provided with it's slow digestion and that she would go back to being satisfied with breast milk. She encouraged on demand feeding until a schedule naturally emerged and dismissed the silly idea of only 30 minutes of "stimulation" at a time that I was being pushed into. The reassurance and nipple guard helped enough for us to feel confident to pack up and go ahead and head home.

We planned to only use the guard for a week or so, then wean off of it but that was a failed idea. We used the nipple guard for the better part of six months! In fact, Cora basically weaned herself from it because she didn't like how it affected the flow of my milk. It was cumbersome and a pain to always know where a guard was, but I'm so thankful for them. I have little doubt that without a nipple guard we would have not been successful at nursing outside the hospital.

We ended up having formula around the house after her NICU stay while we were still under doctors orders to supplement her feedings. At a 1 week we were given the okay by her pediatrician to suspend the supplemental formula syringe feedings. The formula sat in my pantry for months without being used. Finally we broke down and had to use some to mix with breast milk after a quick growth spurt that depleted my milk store in the freezer and I just wasn't able to pump enough to keep up with her demands. All-in-all I believe she had five or less bottles of half milk/half formula before I discovered the wonder that is Fenrugreek! I can't believe we waited until she was seven months old to try it!

I stopped pumping at the end of July (9 months old) when I started staying home with Cora. I can't tell you how much I do not miss pumping. I am so thankful and love being home with Cora if for no other reason, certainly because I don't have to pump anymore! Pumping at work from March through mid-July wasn't awful because her demand had dropped. I could go seven hours between pump sessions (my employer during this time didn't have a place or allow time for me to pump). At the job I left a few weeks after coming back from Maternity Leave pumping was a full time job in and of itself. I had to pump every three hours for at least 30 minutes and I still wasn't keeping up with what she was consuming while I was away. I pretty much kept my office door shut all day and worked away with the pump whurring in the background (and in a month and a half of doing this my boss only walked in on me once!)

With this year behind us we've started looking to the future and the natural question of how long do we want to continue breast feeding. It seems like that's what everyone is asking me "how long do you plan to do this?". Well the truth is I don't know. It doesn't seem fair to Cora to stop just because we passed some arbitrary time marker. 365 days doesn't mean boo to my baby girl. She knows she wants to nurse and doesn't care that she is a year old. For now, just to make my life easier I primarily feed her first thing in the morning and last thing at night. During the middle of the day I offer her other beverages and will only nurse when she "asks" to by patting my chest or pulling on my shirt. Middle of the day feedings get more frequent when she's not feeling well be it an illness, allergies or teething; some days we may nurse up to three additional times during the day. For now, my plan is to just see how it goes and play it by ear!

This year I learned that breastfeeding, even the most idea situation still isn't easy, but I would do it again without giving it a second thought. Some tips I picked up this year -

• Babywearing = WIN! You can nurse while wearing your baby, you can get things done & you aren't stuck sitting in a corner trapped there for half an hour or more. 
• When you're first starting out and you feel like you're juggling 6 balls just trying to master the basics of nursing, it's okay to sit around topless! Trust me, it's just easier to ditch the shirt. Plus this gives you and baby that oh-so-important skin-to-skin contact!
• Nipple Guards are not of the devil. I know that they don't work for everyone and can cause new problems but if you need them, use them!
• When you're first starting out, when the baby latches on giving you that toe-curling pain. Count slowly to five before you take the baby off. Usually by the time I got to five the pain had subsided. If the pain was still bad chances were she wasn't latched correctly & I should re-latch her anyway.
• If you even think you might be getting a clogged duct, pump, pump, pump! Get all that milk out of there! Also, when pumping, let the pump run as close as you can stand to 5 minutes past the end of your milk production to ensure empty ducts (this will also stimulate production)!
• In the hospital, regardless of if your child is in the NICU or not, be your baby's advocate! Check those feeding logs! Push for breast milk supplementation rather than formula if necessary! You're the parent, don't second guess yourself!!

New Diet for Momma... almost time to wean.

Pregnancy was the best diet I've ever been on. I know there are those that are cursing me right now, but trust me, I would gladly trade a pound or two for puking at least one... or three times less a day.

After Cora was born I lost a fair amount more... obviously the almost 9 pounds that made up her little body, and about 10 more after that. 

Breastfeeding has helped some. Not as much as I was hoping it would... not having that handy HCG hormone coursing through my body and eating enough to produce the milk but not eating too much has proven to be a harder line to walk for me than anything nutrition wise was in pregnancy. 

Don't get me started on what exercising seems to do to my supply. I didn't think there would be enough fenrugreek in the world to repair what I did to my supply when I thought I could take up jogging. Granted that was months ago, but I sure haven't tried again since!

Back in April I suddenly gained about 8 pounds. I swear it happened in like a week. At the time I didn't understand why and figured I'd drop it right back off. Not so much... and in hindsight I know why I gained the weight. That was right around the time we started feeding Cora solids, thus reducing the demand on my milk supply and that handy built in calorie burner. 

I'll be honest, vacation was not nice to me in regards to the scale. So for the first time in 20 months (I can't believe it has been that long! 20 months of either pregnancy or serious breastfeeding!) I'm back on the calorie counting bandwagon. 

I'm still breastfeeding but we're about a month and a half away from introducing Cora to milk in a sippy cup to prepare for weaning... maybe. I get sad when I think about weaning her, but in that same thought of sadness I also know it will be time. Ugh. I just don't know - but what I do know is that I really don't want another 8 pound surprise gain when I stop being a milk cow! ;)

Calorie Counting became a way of life for me once, second nature to mentally add up what I'm about to eat as I consider a meal. I'm sure that skill will return, but I sure will miss "eating for two". The difference between Calorie Counting then and now is that while I'm not "eating for two", I am preparing food for two! What I eat, Cora eats... both milk and solids. So, adding to the challenge is that handy cheats like Smart Ones meals and such aren't nearly as practical. 

I can't be the only mother that has gone through this? How did you make the change?

How hard was weaning for you?

I don't even know where to begin? Intellectually I do, but emotionally I have no clue.

Our Natural Birth Plan

 This is the birth plan that John and I have prepared. We want as natural of a birth as possible and will be having a hospital birth after we labor at home as long as we can. I'm happy to answer any questions about our preferences or why we made a particular selection or decision. 

(Look for my *notes* for commentary on a particular decision or wording)

I know that all over the internet you read that you shouldn't let your birth plan go more than one page. We talked to our Midwife about this - she said she didn't mind a longer birth plan. Particularly since we broke ours out into stages of labor, so if you don't have time to read it all - you can get the highlights of what is relevant at the time. We went ahead and broke out each part onto it's own page so that once we moved past that stage, it wasn't there as a distraction if someone needed to read it quickly.

We wrote our birth plan using several different resources out there - there's no point in reinventing the wheel if you don't have to. Check out some of these other great natural birth plans that we used when researching: Our Biggest Influence - Young Nesters

A great printable Birthplan check list if you'd rather go that route! Ultimate Guide to Mommy Survival

Another great birth plan & some excellent ideas on what you should include - Going Green with the Grizls 
And in regards to what newborn procedures we wanted - Modern Alternative Pregnancy

Our Birth Preferences

Pre-Admission Requests

• To only entertain the idea of artificial induction of labor if: Labor is unusually delayed & there is medical urgency.
• If induction of labor is necessary, breaking the sack of waters and wait a reasonable period of time to see if labor can progress without the use of artificial induction medications (such as pitocin).
• If there are no signs of infection after the sac of water breaks, to delay induction for a reasonable period of time. 
  
  *We never intend for our birth preferences to be the final word, we recognize that birth is a natural process and at times "going with the flow" is necessary. By phrasing "reasonable period of time" we felt that we were flexible to what the doctors recommend, but still expressing that we'd really like to not use artificial induction if at all possible. I really like that it leaves a wide gap of flexibility to decide in the moment if necessary*
• To remain at home as long as possible before going to the hospital.

For Hospital Admission & Throughout Labor

We request:

• For our nurses, doctors and support staff to support our goal of a natural birth and in the absence of medical urgency, not preform any procedures that could unnecessarily prevent or prohibit our desire for the most natural birth possible. 
• The opportunity to discuss our birth preferences with our assigned nurse.
• To return home until labor progresses if less than 4 cm dilated and no medical reason to suggest a hospital admission is warranted.
• To self-hydrate after admission and opt for a Hep Lock rather than the routine IV preparations. 
  
  
  *I would have preferred to not have a Hep Lock either, I'm not a fan of stuff in my veins - it's very uncomfortable for me. However, it's our hospitals policy that at least a Hep lock be in place for an emergency situation. I can be flexible & I understand their concern so we conceited on this issue*
• To have only intermittent monitoring of FHR after admission & To be free of blood-pressure cuff between readings.
• Maintain dimmed lights and a quiet environment in the room during labor. 
  To be allowed to wear my own gown and be afforded as much modesty as possible.
  
  *I wish I didn't have to put the part about modesty in here, BUT, after a visit to L&D I learned the hard way that if I don't want to be exposed to a whole host of strangers that I still have no clue why they were in my room, I should go ahead and mention that I'd like my lady bits covered when possible.* 
   
• To have my husband, John and Doula, Susan present during birth.
• To respectfully decline to participate in the taking of pain scale information and any offer of medication or labor-enhancing procedures unless requested.
  *This was a hot topic issue for me! I did not want the distraction from focusing on things other than the pain or my coping techniques to have to stop and think about how much pain am I in to answer a question that I think is inaccurate anyway. My pain level 5 may not be anyone elses, the medical staff has nothing in my background to compare what I respond with to my ability to cope with pain and therefore is null in my opinion. I also don't want someone offering drugs because I look like I'm in "pain" or that what I'm doing is "hard". I don't want to be given the options to distract from what I'm working towards. I of course know that the options are there & what options there are so if I decide I need assistance, I know how to ask for it*
  

During First-Stage Labor

• To walk and move freely during labor.
• To change positions and assume labor positions of choice.
• Minimal number of vaginal exams-with permission-to avoid premature rupture of membranes and increased risk of infection.
• In the event labor stalls, I prefer to try as many natural methods as possible to stimulate labor.
• To be fully apprised, consulted and afforded the time to make an educated decision (barring medical urgency) before the introduction of any medical procedure.
• To enjoy labor tub or shower.
• The option for music (I will provide).
• My husband to be allowed to photograph or take video.

                     For Pain Relief I’d like to use:

• Acupressure
• Breathing techniques
• Self Hypnosis
• Massage
• Bath/Shower
• Natural suggestions given by Doula/Midwife.

During Birthing

• To assume a birthing position of choice.
• To push instinctively and to be allowed to progress without time constraints as long as Baby & Mom are doing fine.
• To not have an episiotomy.
• To allow amniotic sac to rupture on its own.
  
  

Following Birthing

• Immediate skin-to-skin contact, with baby placed on mom’s chest.
• Delayed Cord Cutting - the cord to be clamped and cut only after pulsation has ceased.
• Once the cord stops pulsating, Dad cuts cord.
• Wait for natural placenta delivery without intervention
• No cord traction, manual removal or use of Pitocin for removal of placenta unless necessary and only after consulting Mom.
 

 

For Baby

We request:

• To have bright lights temporarily removed at moment of birth and until baby is moved to mother’s chest.
• All Newborn procedures to be done in our presence:
• If birth went as planned and Baby is healthy: APGARs & cleaning to happen at my chest.
• Please only perform PKU, Vitamin K & hearing/sight test on baby after bonding time, no Prophylactic Eye Ointment administered
• Delay Hep B immunization until after hospital stay
  Option to delay or abstain from bath, or if administered, do so in the room with Mom 
• That father and baby stay with mother throughout the hospital stay.
• Breastfeeding several times during the first few hours of baby’s life.
• Breastfeeding only.  No bottles, formula, pacifier, or artificial nipples.
  
  *For newborn procedures we opted in for the Vitamin K shot & PKU tests because of our increased risk for Cystic Fibrosis. We would need to know ASAP if baby girl does have CF which would be made known through the PKU, or heel stick, test. As for Vit K; CF patients tend to have lower levels of naturally occurring Vit K, plus newborns tend to be Vit K deficient anyway. We figured it couldn't hurt.*

In the event of a C-Section I would like:

         
To make sure other options have been exhausted

An epidural for anesthesia

In the event that a C-Section is necessitated, that father will hold the baby after C-section birth and bring baby to mom for viewing and eye contact.  In absence of urgency, father continues to hold baby for bonding.

  *For the C-Section part, we put this on an entirely different page to stick behind the rest of the plan. I didn't really consider having an "incase of" plan for Cesarian, but our Doula encouraged it - she is a VBAC mom and never planned on having her own c-section. While I really don't want a C-section and lots would have to go wrong for us to make it to that point, it's still nice to know that the things that matter most to me in the event that it is necessary are noted & that I've given it thought.*

My take on Breastfeeding

This is World Breastfeeding Week & though I have not personally breastfed or had my own child, I felt it was important to talk about why I am so passionate about breastfeeding.

I never knew that I would become such an advocate for natural labor and delivery or for breastfeeding.  I have always felt led to do everything in my power to provide this for my family, even long before I was considering having children. 

I watched my Mom struggle with the effect that medical interventions had on her deliveries and post-postpartum recovery with my brothers.  Looking back, I question how many of her interventions were truly necessary, but at the time were forced on her as a "medical necessity".

Source

After watching those struggles, it has always been important to me to do my very best to strive for the most natural birth possible, including breastfeeding. Should medical necessity arise and I need interventions? Then, Hey - that's a perk of living in our times, but I will do everything I can to have my children the way God planned for our bodies to.

The same goes for breast feeding.  Since childhood, breastfeeding was considered a natural part of the birth process. I remember playing "house" with my brothers, I had my little doll and I would pretend to breast feed her, holding her in the sling we created by tying a knot in a blanket mimicking the breast feeding sling my Mom used. 

Looking back, I find it surprising that I was so accustomed to the idea of breast feeding because it was something my Mother struggled with.  Due to complications with those lovely medical interventions - she never got the chance to breastfeed me. Her second child, Robert has Cystic Fibrosis and - well that's a story for another day, but breastfeeding didn't work for him. Come her third child, she was determined to breast feed and she had to fight tooth and nail to overcome the obstacles placed in front of her. Obstacles beyond that of what any new mother faces trying to establish a milk supply and handle everything that comes with having a newborn in the house (plus 2 other kiddos). She had to fight the doctor and at times those who loved her but doubted her ability to feed my brother; citing that it isn't "necessary" that "this is why there is formula" - there was no issue with her supply and Jacob and Joshua (child #4) certainly were not exhibiting Failure to Thrive.

Something I have learned very quickly about the world of pregnancy and parenting is that everyone has an opinion (including me).  The differences are, how do you express your opinion & is it shoved unnecessarily in someones face?

Source

So when I'm ask how I plan to feed my child (because yes, apparently that is considered an appropriate topic of conversation and acquaintances and practical strangers love to ask these things) and I express my preference for breastfeeding I feel like I'm being judged.  Immediately after the judgmental look I get the inevitable "why?" or "well don't be surprised if it doesn't work for you".  Usually I shluf it off and move on; but if you've caught me on a day that my hormones make biting my tounge a little harder - I'll tell you...

In my experience, in the experience of medical professionals and every ounce of research I can get my hands on - BREAST IS BEST.

In our family, Jacob and Joshua are leaps and bounds healthier than the rest of us. We can directly attribute it to the fact that they were breastfed. Mother was able to feed Jacob this way for longer, and he is healthier than Joshua. Even as a child, I could tell a marked difference between their health and mine.

The difference between me and the busy bees that ask me inappropriate questions is - I recognize that breastfeeding isn't always an option. I get it. I'm not so far off to the right on this that I can't comprehend that sometimes it is just not practical or possible to breastfeed.

Source

Do I worry about how it is going to work with me needing to return to work quickly after the baby? 

Certainly. But it won't keep me from trying. I just really fail to get why everyone sees such harm in a good plan. Go for plan A - if I can't have the unmedicated, intervention free birth and labor I'm planning for or just because I am not successful at breastfeeding  --  then okay it's time for Plan B. Just because my Plan A didn't work for you, or you didn't even want Plan A doesn't make it a bad plan or an unrealistic plan.

Reasons I plan to Breastfeed:

• It is undoubtedly, the best option for providing nutrition to my child.
• It is shown to decrease the risk of breast cancer
• Bonding between Mommy & Baby, special connection
• Natural immunities
• Significantly cheaper than formula (costs lie in pump, special bras etc.)
• I'm not upset in the least by the boost it will give my metabolism in loosing the baby weight ;)

So my message for World Breastfeeding Week - a word from a non-mother - mind your own business! Not everyone is going to do everything the way you did it. What worked for you may not work for them (and that goes both ways!). If you chose to exclusively formula feed - I don't judge you, so please don't judge me because I choose to use my body to feed my child.